GOOD communication undoubtedly promotes good relationships. Once people in any communicative setting can appropriately communicate their thoughts and intentions, and the other party is able to comprehend and give appropriate feedback, then good communication happens. There are several communication skills that can help individuals achieve success in their relationships – business or personal. One such skill is active listening. This week’s article will explore what active listening is and how this technique can help to enhance communication.

What is active listening? It can be regarded as a communication skill that involves fully engaging with the speaker by listening and responding in a way that improves mutual understanding. When you listen actively, you demonstrate a sincere interest in what is being said. You really listen to understand, not to respond. When you finish off a speaker’s sentence or imagine in your head that you know precisely what they wanted to say, then you are not actively listening to them. Guilty of that? I know many of us are! We can bring this under control by examining several active listening techniques that can help us build more meaningful connections, understand others’ perspectives, and resolve conflicts more effectively.

One essential active listening skill is maintaining eye contact. By making eye contact, individuals demonstrate their attentiveness and show that they are fully present in the conversation. It signifies that they value the speaker and are interested in hearing their thoughts and opinions. This simple gesture can create a sense of trust and openness between individuals, facilitating better communication. Little wonder many individuals who must communicate over the phone by calling or texting may have misunderstandings. This is partly because when people cannot read body language or look into the eyes of the other party, they may misunderstand written expressions, and this may cause some hitches in the relationship.

This leads to the point of providing verbal and non-verbal cues, which is another important aspect of active listening. Why is this skill important? For one, this technique entails nodding, smiling, and using encouraging phrases such as “I understand”, or “Tell me more”. These verbal and paralinguistic cues show the speaker that their words are being acknowledged and understood. For another, this technique reinforces the speaker’s confidence and encourages them to continue sharing their thoughts.

Paraphrasing and summarising what the speaker has said also hinges on active listening. This technique ensures that individuals have grasped the speaker’s message accurately while confirming their understanding. Paraphrasing and summarising help individuals show that they are actively processing the information and are invested in comprehending it correctly. This is also one way of doing concept-checking. When you actively listen, you could say a thing like, ‘If I understood you correctly, you said that ….’ Then you mention what you thought you understood the speakersaid. You also remove yourself from any misunderstandings. One should really do this a lot more!

Active listening also involves avoiding distractions and giving full attention to the speaker. You cannot be actively listening when someone is speaking and you’re fiddling with your phone. You may decide to put your phone on the silent mode and put it away from your view. You shouldn’t also be looking at your wristwatch as though you were impatient with the speaker and want the conversation already concluded.

Additionally, you actively listen when you avoid interrupting the speaker and refrain from thinking about what to say next. If you were to think about what to say next, you may lose salient points being made by the speaker. By fully focusing on the speaker, individuals can better understand the speaker’s point of view and respond appropriately.

Clarifying questions are another effective active listening technique. By asking open-ended questions you allow the speaker to give you feedback without you restricting their thoughts or influencing whatever they are going to say. This is because you ask questions using ‘why’, ‘how’, and ‘what’ question words, and they allow the one giving feedback to provide a full answer.

For example, you could ask a speaker, “Why did you decide to choose your life course?” That way, you can gain further information and clarification. If you asked why or how they chose their course, you’d gain abundant information about them that you would erase any ambiguities or confusion. Again, there could always be follow-up questions if further clarification is sought.

One last active listening technique you can deploy when interacting with others is showing empathy. This fundamental skill entails understanding and sharing the feelings of the speaker. Show curiosity and eagerness to listen to what the other has to say. It is always said that empathy means to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and feel their pain. When you are empathetic, you do not necessarily have to agree with others, but you can endeavour to try to understand them.

Empathy moves you to ask them questions to know more about them and their lives, and the more you gain insights into their personality, you may begin to see them differently and treat them in a much nicer way. Demonstrating empathy involves not only listening to the speaker’s words but also recognising their emotions.

What do you do with such recognition? To show that you are listening actively, acknowledge the emotions and respond with compassion and understanding. In other words, do something about what they’re saying in addition to sympathising with them. Doing so fosters an environment of trust and openness, and it encourages the speaker to fully express themselves.

To sum up, active listening techniques are great skills essential for enhancing communication. In this article we have considered a few such techniques. By maintaining eye contact, providing verbal and non-verbal cues, paraphrasing and summarising, avoiding distractions, asking clarifying questions, and showing empathy from the depth of your heart, you can foster effective communication and develop stronger connections with others. Utilising these techniques helps you to demonstrate a genuine interest in understanding the speaker’s perspective and creating an environment of trust and respect, leading to more meaningful and productive conversations. Who doesn’t want that?

•Dr. Oji is a Senior Lecturer of English at the Institute of Humanities, Pan-Atlantic University, Lagos