By Bunmi Sofola

To  re-route male attention south wards from her boobs, Margaret confessed she’s tried wearing baggy black T-Shirts and vice-like sports bras to no avail.

A cute and very intelligent computer analyst, she told me  recently that: “I’ve tried everything to divert the opposite sex from staring at my rather ample chest.

“But no matter what I attempt, I’ve always been known as Maggie Melons – at least that’s what I was called in my school days.

“That’s the thing about having a 34 F bust: It’s the first thing people see.  So, almost inevitably, it becomes your defining characteristic.

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“More often than not the dubious attention attracted by my bangers/melons/ fun bags – Oh yes, I’ve heard all the ‘hilarious euphemism – is entirely unwelcome’.

“Don’t think me ‘ungrateful’ (as some of my more petite friends have labelled me), but the lascivious stares and lewd comments seem to be on the rise – even in this supposedly enlightened age.

“And I blame the likes of Cossy Ojiakor – who could wrap her boobs right around her neck and have a bit to spare – who flaunt their gargantuan boobs any chance they have.

“The more Cossy pouts and preens and brags she’s fine with the fact that her ‘fame!?’ revolves around her mammary glands, the more people think it’s fine to gawp at the rest of us big-chested ladies.

“Recently, I was introduced to a man at a party and he couldn’t peel his eyes away from my cleavage.  ‘God! I mean wow! You look amazing!’ he gushed.

“I wanted to shout: ‘I do have an entire body – not to mention a brain – you know!’ But of course I didn’t say anything.

“Unlike any other part of your anatomy, when the joke’s about your heaving bosom, you are simply supposed to laugh along.

“Despite Cossy’s declarations to the contrary, a sizeable bust quickly becomes the bane of your life.  Quite apart from the physical discomfort of lumbering around a 91b bosom (yes, I once weighed them!).

“I can’t go for a run without the uncalled for leer from men and am yet to speak to a man who has been able to meet my gaze for any length of time.

“It wasn’t until I was 14 that my breasts began to grow out of proportion.  Those early days of shopping for bras left mental scars, with me sobbing ‘I hate my boobs’ to my mum.

“Wide strap carved grooves into my shoulders and the cups struggled to contain my curves.  I’m now 36, but when I was a teenager, more generous sizes weren’t readily available.  I was consigned to what was available at the ‘bend-down’ boutiques.

“It wasn’t until I was studying for my A-Levels at the age of 16 that I became aware of the rubbernecking and widening eyes that my boobs elicited from hormonal young males.

“I’m sure there are many women who would imagine such attention boosts your confidence, but in reality, it’s uncomfortable, humiliating and you just want to run away and hide.

“You were scared of walking on crowded streets because of maniacs who deliberately crashed into your chest!  When I went to the university, I found myself gravitating towards other busty girls.

“My room-mate’s cleavage was as eye-popping as mine.  We endured vulgar taunts about our bosoms, but took comfort in the fact we were not alone.

“I never dressed revealingly when I was young, and even now I refuse to display my cleavage when meeting potential suitors.  After a failed marriage, I just want a man who would love me for me – and that includes my whole body and my brain.

“Meanwhile, most of my social outings continue to be dominated by vulgar comments about my chest.  As a woman with a larger – than – life personality, I tend to laugh off such comments.

“But there are times when I go home feeling genuinely upset.  Would these men say anything if I was flat-chested?  Or big bottomed?  I don’t think so.

“Thanks to Cossy and her ilk, curvy women with big boobs are considered to be fair fame for ribald comments from strangers, because, no matter how hard they try, they tend to look like porn stars!

“The extent to which my god-forsaking boobs put a damper on everything is best summed up by a recent call from my 28-year-old sister.

“She was-engaged and would like me to be a matron of honour at her wedding.  I told her it was fine by me as long as I don’t have to wear a strapless bridesmaid’s dress.

“She was amused I didn’t make inquiries about the venue, the number of guests, how she was feeling – my fears about my figure clouded my reaction to her happy news.

“Thankfully, my sister is very laid-back and assured me that I could wear whatever made me feel comfortable.

“So I would say Cossy Ojiakor and all those women who revel in comments about their breasts, to think again and realise that not every big-busted girl is happy to be judged by her boobs alone.”

Vanguard News Nigeria

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