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Why are some men so fickle?

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Dear Bunmi,

My boyfriend and I were on the verge of making wedding plans when he married someone else because she was pregnant! You can imagine how heart-broken I was and since then, I have made up my mind not to get into another serious relationship.

I realised that most men just use women and because I want to feel I’m in control, I’ve had more than 10 sexual partners in under a year.


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You see, I need to feel wanted, but I don’t want to fall in love again as I always get hurt. I don’t want to be seen as being promiscuous though, what do you suggest?

Sefinat, by e-mail.

Dear Sefinat,

It’s true we should all strive to do what makes us happy. But unfortunately, this is not what you’re doing right now. Through your sad experience with one man, you’ve drawn a shaky conclusion about every man on earth!

This is where you’re making a big mistake. That and the fact that your method of feeling wanted is really over the top!

It is all very well to sleep around (provided you take precautions) if  it’s  what you genuinely want. But doing it to prove a point, when you want something else, is not a good idea.

Give yourself a reasonable time to get over your hurt and then re-examine your options.


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