Dear Bunmi,

I have this best friend who believes she’s unlucky in love. The problem is, she’s always falling for the wrong type of men. I always see through all these opportunistic boyfriends she introduces to me, but whenever I advise her, she goes off in a huff and tries to sever relationship with me.

When they eventually let her down, she comes running to me and pretends we’re still the best of friends. I like her a lot and I feel bad whenever she belittles herself with these men. What can I do to make her ‘see’ through men that are bad for her?


Tomi, by e-mail.

Dear Tomi,

Is it possible to ever try to talk anyone out of love? Even out of an ill-considered, ill-fated love? I used to try pretty regularly to discourage unwise lovers, and believe me, it can’t be done.

Once the head-strong heart is up and running, the best a friend can do for a friend is be there when she falls out of love, so she can lean on you, but only until such time as she can stand on her own two feet.

I get the impression your friend could be so dependent on your help that she will keep getting into romantic scrapes in order to bind you to her!


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