IT’S really interesting that it is the nice-looking well- behaved generous men that later turn into violent bullies. That’s why it’s often difficult for a woman to spot a potential thug and make the run for it before things get out of hand! Dora, in her 30s and a fairly successful events manager was ecstatic when she was able to move into her own well- furnished two – bedroom flat. “It was the height of my independence”, she gushed, as she threw a lavish house warming party. It was at this party that she met Mikel, the man who’d finally turn her world on its head.
“A close friend had brought him,” she said, “and he was a sort of life and soul of the party. When I ran out of drinks, he quickly went out in his car to get more. We’d got on great from there. He was warm, easy to talk to and lived not far from my flat with his friend. I loved being in such a caring relationship and he more or less lived in my flat. Over the next months however, I discovered he could be very argumentative if he didn’t get his way. One evening at a party, an argument flared, I tried to drop it so we could enjoy the party, but he was having none of it. I made to leave and he held me at the elbow, almost twisting off my arm.
“My scream brought some guests rushing to my rescue. I was really angry. I’d come in Mikel’s car but Tayo, a guy I’d known socially offered to run me home. By the time we got to my place, I’d been much calmer” I offered him a drink because I felt guilty for dragging him out of a lively party and he accepted a beer. We got chatting but I let him know I wasn’t looking for a relationship, he said he wasn’t either, so we chatted in a relaxed way.
“He was about to leave when I heard a noise at the door. Mikel had let himself in with his key. “What’s going on here?” he boomed. “It’s not what you think. .. “ Tayo began. Before he could finish his sentence, Mikel tore at him. Both of them started a fist fight and when I yelled for them to stop, Mikel turned on me threateningly. Tayo saw his chance and fled through the front door. I made a run for my bedroom door but he beat me to it. “Where do you think you’re going?”, he growled, pushing me into the bedroom. He pushed me onto the bed, his eyes wild. I kicked out at him but he was a tall bulky man. He gripped me by the ankles lifting my bottom into the air. When he yanked my legs apart, I thought he wanted oral sex, and I yelled “No, no way!” He thrusted his head down between my leg and I suddenly felt searing agony. The brute had bitten my most intimate parts, his teeth sinking through my knickers!
Blood gushed as ferocious pain almost made me black out. Mikel must have realised he’d gone too far as he fled out of the door and I limped to bang on the door of my neighbours. One of them escorted me back into the house as a woman yelled “She’s bleeding heavily from her vagina!” I was hastily put into a car and driven to the hospital. What had that monster done? Was I damaged for life? I shook with pain all the way to the hospital. There, doctors confirmed I’d lostt a lot of blood. My left labia had been lacerated by Mikel’s teeth – 1 needed stitches to seal it back together.
“My parents got him arrested and I gave a statement to the Police as soon as I could. I was released from the hospital two days later and I hobbled round the flat. I cried out in agony as my injured genitals stung. I dreaded going to the loo. It hurt so much I’d have to pour a bottle of cold water over my wound whenever I had a wee.
“My parents made sure Mikel was arrested and charged with the attack on me.
“He was granted bail. Days later, he was at the flat, crying and begging for forgiveness. “I never meant to hurt you”, he begged. ‘I thought I’d lost you when 1 saw you with that man and flipped. I love you so much.
“Have you ever seen a grown man cry? I felt my heart softening. He suffered momentary madness and behaved badly. I believed everyone deserved a second chance. He couldn’t do enough for me and against my parent’s advice, I contacted the Police to withdraw my statement. Over the next ten weeks as my tear healed, so did my trust. Mikel would come around often, but there was no physical contact. My woundwas still too raw, my emotions too sensitive.
“We were at the supermarket when we ran into one of the neighbours who had rushed to my rescue during the attack at the store’s car park. When he mentioned the attack on me, Mikel bristled and punched him in the chest. The man hit him right back and a fight broke out. I simply walked away and took a cab home. I recalled the pain and shame I’d suffered at his hands and knew he’d always let me down. It was about time I moved on. I’ve not seen him since then. I don’t intend to. I’m now coping on my own, trying to be strong. It’ll be a while before I can face even the thought of sex. Down below, in my most private place, there’s a long lesion, scare that’ll always be there. One day soon, I hope to pick myself up and start all over again”.