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Why have my in-laws changed drastically?

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Dear Bunmi,

My husband’s parents used to see a lot of our four children and they all adored their grandparents. In the recent past, it looked as if they’d become too busy with their daughter’s new baby and the two children from my husband’ first marriage. As a result, they seem to have lost interest in our children.

I’m terribly upset because my kids now get second rate treatment and they don’t get to stay over at their grandparent’s as before. This I believe is unfair and my husband has refused to tackle his parents. Do you think I should?

Nkechi, by e- mail.


Dear Nkechi,

It is very unusual for grand-parents to simply switch off a cordial relatiohip with their grandchildren, and prioritise one set completely over another for no reason. My bet is that something else is going on here.

I’d advice you visit your in-laws without the kids in tow, and have a quiet word with them. Explain how much their grandchildren miss them and ask what’s gone wrong. But you should be prepared to hear things you don’t like such as their objecting to something you’ve done; or your children have done.

Just do your best to build bridges.

Remember, if there has been a rift, they’d be probably just as eager as you are to start rebuilding the relationship with their grandchildren.


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