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He thinks I’m cheating on him

Aunty Julie,

I’m in a steady relationship with a guy who tends to love me as much as I love him. It is true that every relationship has its ups and downs and in my own case, my guy suffers from occasional distrust. I have never cheated on him but he feels that I am doing so. He gets upset that sometimes my vagina is looser than other times. He thinks I’m cheating, but I’m not. I don’t know about my vagina being looser at certain times but I’m sure I have never cheated on him. What’s going on?

Erica, Lagos

Dear Erica,

I’m really worried about your boyfriend’s attitude which stems from ignorance. But he needs to understand women much more than he does especially their physiological make-up.

You must let your guy understand that women’s vaginas are less elastic when they are not sexually aroused. They become more elastic (looser) when they are sexually excited . A woman may feel “tighter” to a man when she is less aroused, less comfortable, and having less pleasure than her partner.

Hormonal shifts during a woman’s menstrual cycle affect vaginal secretions and may affect vaginal elasticity. She may feel “looser” on certain days of her cycle than on others. Certain drugs, such as antihistamines or marijuana, may make the walls of the vagina feel dry so they seem “tighter.”

Also, a woman’s vagina may feel tighter or looser in different positions for intercourse. Some men tend to be anxious about their sexual performance. Some have an exaggerated sense of jealousy. It’s always best to discuss such problems with a partner or with a professional. But some men may put the blame on their partners because they are unable to recognize their own insecurities. Get talking with your guy and educate him.


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