DearBunmi,

I’ve been with my current partner for eight years. He’s been married twice before and I got divorced 10 years ago.

My partner and I have a happy life, except for one thing – he won’t marry me. I’ve brought it up a few times over the years, but he just says there’s no point.

I know he’s been burned twice before, but I’m really not like either of his other partners. I think it’s important from a legal point of view to get married. I don’t even want a big, white wedding like my first. This is causing rows between us now. Am I being unfair?

Dedun, by e-mail.

Dear Dedun,

Relationships are about so much more than a wedding even though most single women fantasize about a dream wedding. Getting married is a big step in the first place, so why would your man want to keep doing it?

If I were you, I’d, just enjoy your life together. You’ve share almost a decade together – this is more than some marriages last for. You’ve been divorced once and the possibility of a second divorce, such as your man has had, is enough experience for you that people do change with time and not all marriages last.