Late last year, I had a full hysterectomy and even after hormone replacement therapy with testosterone, I still never want sex, though I enjoy it when it’s happening. My poor husband has been very patient and this is not fair to him.
We’ve now set up Tuesday and Saturday for ‘dates’ which excite him, but I’d love to have my fire ignited as in years past. Linda, by e-mail.
The good news is that you still like sex – so your libido isn’t dead, it’s just napping. Let’s face it, who could feel “in the mood” when she’s worrying about trying to produce sex on demand and scared of frustrating her husband? It’s been said by medical experts that one out of every three women is dealing with loss of desire, which is especially common after a hysterectomy. Diminished oestrogen can lead to dryness and low testosterone (the lust hormone) may send your sex drive into hiding, so get your blood checked to see if you’re taking enough of each.
If you are, the best alternative is to exercise your mind. Assure your husband that good things lie ahead so he’ll back off for now. Then grab some erotic books or videos and indulge. Conjure up sexy scenario. Many women shut out fantasies because they feel guilty, but rest assured, using your imagination out of the bedroom will translate into desire in the bedroom.