By Francis Ewherido

Insurance contracts, unlike most commercial contracts, are governed by utmost good faith (uberrima fides). Most other commercial contracts are governed by caveat emptor (let the buyer beware). Caveat emptor places the onus on the buyer to examine, judge and test a product before parting with money. Caveat emptor places the buyer at a disadvantage, especially when dealing with dubious sellers, even though laws have been enacted to redress the lopsidedness.

Love

Utmost good faith, on the other hand, means all parties to a contract are duty bound to make full disclosures of all MATERIAL FACTS, failing which the contract is voidable at the instance of the aggrieved party. A material fact is that which will influence a rational person in taking informed decisions in a transaction or contract.

A marriage, like an insurance contract, should be based on utmost good faith. Caveat emptor, no matter how reformed, is not good enough. All material facts must be disclosed by both parties, prior to exchange of vows, so that both parties can take informed decisions. In other words, both parties must observe utmost good faith.

Why am I going into all these? A lady Cynthia posted her story on a popular social media site recently, lamenting about how her husband deceived her into marriage by withholding a material fact. I did not see the original post; I saw it on the wall of a Facebook friend, Gabriel Adubi. According to Cynthia, during courtship, her church discouraged her and her fiancé, Ugochukwu, from engaging in premarital sex. Consequently she never knew Ugochukwu had a micro penis until after their wedding. A year after the wedding, she is frustrated and wants out.

The issue here is fraud, deceit and concealment. It is convenient to take the easy way out and conclude that if they have had pre-marital sex, she would have known about this medical condition. Many of us freely subscribed to the Christian Faith—whether orthodox or Pentecostal—and Christianity is clear, firm and uniform on pre-marital sex; notwithstanding many of us engage(d) in it. So you cannot blame her church for her plight.

A micro-penis is a medical condition where the male organ does not fully develop in an adult male. It affects about 0.6 per cent of men worldwide. Micro penises measure less than three inches in length when erect; some are as small as 1.5 inches when erect.

A micro penis is a defect, an abnormal condition, and Ugochukwu owed Cynthia a duty of care to tell her before marriage. It would have been left for Cynthia to decide whether or not to go ahead and make the enormous sacrifice that will go with her decision. Since he concealed it, the marriage is not valid because it was procured by fraud. In the Catholic Church, for instance, such a marriage can be annulled (this is different from divorce) at the instance of the aggrieved party (Cynthia). It is assumed that a valid marriage never took place ab initio because it was based on falsehood.

But please note that this guy can still sire children, if his sperms are healthy, the size of his penis notwithstanding. People with micro-penis can be sexually active. It is just that the size falls below the minimum needed to give a spouse the required pleasure during sex. His case is not hopeless though; there are some other areas and remedial measures he can explore. He should consult his doctors.

If the lady chooses to forgive her husband, that would be wonderful, but she is at liberty to walk away from the marriage. Trust is one of the bedrocks of marriages and relationships. Take away trust and you have taken away the soul of marriage; what is left of the marriage is carcass. It hurts when a spouse betrays your trust. “A deceitful tongue crushes the spirit” (Proverbs 15:4). Should the lady decide to continue the marriage, the husband will have to rebuild the trust that he has destroyed with his concealment and fraud.

The other bit I find irritating is that Ugochukwu, according to Cynthia, went on to encourage her to sleep with other men to get sexual satisfaction. It looks like this guy is inherently crooked. What kind of man encourages his wife to sleep around? What happened to the matrimonial vow of fidelity he took in church a year earlier? Hollow ritual?

I have also heard of cases where impotent men deceive ladies into marriage and thereafter beg them to sleep with other men to get pregnant and also get sexual satisfaction. The irony and tragedy of their situation is that such marriages are never consummated (no sexual intercourse between the spouses) and an unconsummated marriage is as good as no marriage.

Desperation is a deadly disease everybody should endeavour to find a cure for. It diminishes people’s sense of reason and integrity. You are impotent, you deceive a woman to marry you and then prod her to get pregnant by other men. What if she is a disciplined woman who would do no such thing? But let us even assume she agrees to be part of the scam; she gets pregnant and gives birth to children and you deceive the world they are biologically yours. Then you become troubled that the real father might find out the truth someday and come for his children; you get “imprisoned” by your wife, you worry the children might look so different, or even look like their biological father and tongues will start wagging. Why the unnecessary hassles and anxiety?

Let the words of Benjamin Franklin be your companion: “Three (people) can keep a secret, if two of them are dead,” which means, the best kept secrets are those known to only one person. You are vulnerable if your secret is known to two or more people because you are no longer in total control. Why not fly straight all the way: tell your prospective wife the truth and if she agrees, officially adopt children and have peace with yourself, your God and humanity.