By Dele Sobowale

“Go and die.” Uncle Sam, of VANGUARD; Gov. Oshiomhole,  Edo State.

Words of wisdom, as you will soon discover. If I wake up on the morning of May 8, this year, I will beam a benevolent smile on anybody saying to me “go and die”. What else is there to do? On that day, I would have broken a family jinx or curse as a result of which no male child in the Sobowale family, in two hundred years, had made it to 60. On that day I will be 70.

When in 2004, I made 60, after being Head of Family, at the ridiculous age of 46, everybody expected a big party. I had the money; lots of it then. But, there was no party. To me it was really a sad occasion when I know families where a “Baba 70” still had elder brothers. In one Lagos family, the Baba 70 was fourth in line. Now, if I make it to 70, there will still be no big party. Now, I don’t have the money for a big bash. But, I will invite a few people for a small get together later in the month. So, my friends, get ready –just in case…

In 2004 as now, as the day drew near, I was plagued with all sorts of health worries. I almost had a fatal accident two months to the date. Well, on Saturday, March 8, 2014, history repeated itself. My old jalopy, which had been in a workshop for four months, was released to me on Thursday, March 6, 2014. That was after being chiseled out of N850,000 for an engine overhaul. I took the car home and parked it until that almost fateful Saturday, to attend a wedding ceremony.

Because of Lent, I took no food or drink at the ceremony. At 9.00 pm, I was on the Third Mainland Bridge, driving at about 70-80 kph – because I wanted to be sure the car was in good condition. Suddenly, a trailer in another lane, swerved in front of me and I applied the brakes. NOTHING HAPPENED. The car just continued moving as if I had done nothing – even when my foot was down on the brake.

Fortunately, there was a free lane on my right and I quickly moved to that lane. Certainly, if there was no alternative lane to use, or I was traveling at 100-120 kph, the car and I would have been decapitated. Had the accident occurred, nobody would have thought the workshop was responsible. The wine bottles in the car would have offered “proof” that I was drunk and probably over-speeding.

I returned the car to the killer workshop on Monday and four days after, they were still checking the brake!! That only tells you how these workshops kill thousands of Nigerians and we don’t know it because their criminal negligence is buried with the victim.

So, if I don’t make it, permit me to register the fact that the Consumer Protection Council, CPC, has to conduct an inquiry into the operations of our car dealers – Mercedes, Toyota, Honda, Hyundai and KIA; especially my own Killer workshop. From comments made by other aggrieved customers, mine might not be an exception at that workshop.

However regarding the possibility of NOT making it to 70, let me express gratitude to certain individuals who had been there for me every step of the way. There are two names, on that list, which will surprise everybody. The last still baffles me. Wonders never cease.

On the home front, the two most important people in my life, alive today, remain, my brother (father) Professor B.K. Ogunmodede and our Mummy(a sister-in-law without comparison on earth), Mrs V.O. Sobowale. Outside the home, it is possible that few people would ever have heard the name Dele Sobowale if not for Uncle Sam, Publisher, VANGUARD.

He is my employer, my role model for column writing, mentor, supporter, debater and senior friend. Uncle Sam and Obong Victor Attah, former Governor and Father of Akwa Ibom State remain the only two people outside my immediate family for whom no words of appreciation will be sufficient. And Attah is the only politician I have ever trusted in Nigeria. You only need to know the man to realise that you are meeting with a rare sort of human being.

The surprises include Atiku Abubakar, former Vice President under Obasanjo. The relationship started when Obasanjo began victimizing Atiku in order to promote Baba Iyabo’s third term ambition. I was deeply involved in the struggle to ensure that OBJ did not succeed. Atiku then became a valuable ally in the struggle. One day, PDP hoodlums in Lagos Island destroyed my almost brand new KIA OPTIMA and left me without transport for almost four months.

Atiku heard about it and proceeded to buy me a new car. When he invited me to Abuja, the least I expected was a car. That put me in an ethical dilemma. I was supporting him on principle, and he had responded with a gift of a car – at a time I seriously needed one. I turned the car down; after explaining to Atiku that people might read different meanings to the entire thing if I accepted the offer.

I was without a car for three months after the offer. But, I am grateful the Turaki made the offer; I am even more grateful that he took no offense that I refused the offer. We remain friends and I appreciate him. He is an infinitely better human being than OBJ and that is why he moves around so effortlessly.

HELP; THAT SHE MAY NOT DIE NOW

“We spend our lives waiting and we are all condemned to die.” Epicurus, 341-270 B.C. (VANGUARD BOOK OF QUITATIONS p32).

Yes death awaits us all. But that doesn’t mean we should not help young people to stay alive. There is a young lady in Ward D1 of the General Hospital, Lagos Island, who needs help to stay alive – N200,000 exactly. I don’t have N200,000; otherwise there would have been no point writing this appeal. But, I have ten copies left of the BOOK OF QUOTATIONS to send to twenty kind souls willing to donate N20,000 each. God will bless you abundantly.