Hi Jerome, I got a message in my inbox from someone who said he saw he saw me on FACEBOOK though my friends list and found we do not share any mutual friends. He said he believes I am his wife and sent a number so I can call him. I told him that I am skeptical about meeting someone on the net especially when he lives so far away (London). I felt he should call me first and sent my phone number to him, but instead of calling me, he sent me another message telling me about himself and why he feels I am right for him. I began to wonder if he is not phony and trying to play with my feelings. Does he really live in London or is he close? Why is he hesitating to call? And lots of questions are going through my mind. I think we should get to talk first and get to know each other better so I have told him little about myself. What do you think? Thanks. Philomena.
Dear Philomena, FACEBOOK has the power to bring people together, but unfortunately hasn’t got what it takes to help you know who is fraud and who is not. That’s your own responsibility. And you will be far from performing that responsibility if you are not exposed or experienced, and by that I mean if you have not been around people to learn from their own experience or yours. As I go from place to place, I seem to meet with so many people that are simple, naïve, and maybe defined as foolish, no matter how hard that word may sound. Or how else will you define a lady that a guy tells that he has someone he is engaged to get married to, but wants her to stay around him in case he changes his mind and calls off the engagement with the lady he is with right now. And guess what? She stays around him too, sleeping with him, giving him money and hoping that one day he will leave the other lady. Do you have a better name to call her other than foolish?
Philomena, Philomena, how do I describe you? Is it as Simple, Naïve, Foolish or all of the above? Or maybe I shouldn’t describe you as any of that, but rather point out where you may have acted foolishly? I don’t doubt that you are an Introvert (and by that I mean Quiet, Shy, Energized by ideas, feelings and impressions, Prefer to be alone, Inhibited, Reluctant to share personal information, Prefer a small group of people you already know etc) and as an introvert prefer to relate more online with others than face to face.
When you do more of meeting people online than face to face, you will realize that you may not be a good judge of Character in Communication. A fascinating study, pioneered by Professor Albert Mehrabi established that when talking about feelings and attitudes, what you say has a very small impact compared to the tone you use and how you hold your body. The influences, in percentage terms, are as follows: 1) Verbal 7%. 2) Tonality 38 %. 3) Physiology 55%. Now because this is true, most fraudulent guys will like to chat with you first, and then may move to talking to you on the phone before they now finally meet you, because they know you will not be able to detect fraud in them from the very beginning since you are not in a position to observe all the factors that reveals the traits that convey the full message in communication. And most guys that deceive ladies today because they are under the diabolical power of deception use that.
That your FACEBOOK guy may likely be a criminal, and believe me there are so many of them using FACEBOOK today. These males believe that there are so many desperate ladies out there today, and if you ask me, I will have to agree with them on that: we really have so many desperate ladies out there who only need to hear a guy, any guy at all or anything that looks like a guy say “I want to marry you”, and you will see how she will become jelly for him. Most guys out there know that now, and they discuss it among themselves like “Omo just tell the babe say you wan marry am, and you go see how she go just become mugu for you”. The bad part is that it works, at least up till the time you are still reading this. That’s why I believe this rascal, this vagabond started on that note with you. In those days when a man tells you “I know you are my wife” in the few minutes of meeting you, (and there were few men who did that then) and tells you that, I can say you had nothing to worry about, but when one Johnbull, one project of a guy meets you now and says that, you should call the police or OPC. Most of the guys out there today are doing nothing and are very lazy. So this is not about helping them to get something doing, they will even embarrass you where ever and with whoever you connect them for a job. They are a virus to their family members. Ask those who made the mistake of a lifetime by getting married to men like that, they will realize the family members of such a guy never insisted in him getting married to you and leaving the house, because as far as they are concerned, you are their anti_virus that will make sure this guy does not attack their familial system again. Poor you! When such girls who marry such men finally go home to report such a guy, his mother and sisters only appeals to her to be patient, and that she’s the only one that can handle him.
Philomena, shine your eyes! This your London FACEBOOK guy dey for Naija here, make you forget say he give you UK number, na today? You know how many fake guys dey use UK or South Africa Number from Naija here. As I write this to you I have MTN numbers of different countries that I visit and work, and make sure the credit is topped continually so I don’t lose the line. I can call you with My Ghana line from Nigeria and yet lie to you that I am in Ghana, but I thank God who has raised me higher than that. So when I leave these countries, I switch off the lines, despite the fact that I know it can work here.
But u sef, u mugu small, how u come begin tell this stranger about ya self. You ladies talk too much, you give out too much information about yourselves too soon, and yet think what you have said is so little, and by doing so give guys a leverage to take advantage of you, whereas when you believe a guy has told you about himself, he has actually not said anything really useful in the long run . Philomena, please don’t make that mistake next time, and since this stranger has your phone number now, and has some information about you, kindly stop there for now. I have a lot of people in the UK, if you give me his Number, I can have some people check up on this guy for you, and if he is okay and all my assumptions about him are wrong, I will come back here to apologize to my readers, and if I am right which beyond reasonable doubt I know I am, then it will just be advisable you BLOCK him as your friend on FACEBOOK, and never pick his calls if he calls. We may never be able to remove these kinds of guys from our environment, but we can control their involvement with us, and the ladies in our lives. For all of you desperate ladies out there, please stop shaking over a guy like an agama lizard just because the none entity meets you today and 2 minutes later says he wants to marry you, I have told you to call the Police when such a fraud comes your way.