Dear Jerome,

Lovely articles, I must confess. I always look forward to reading ‘Get Captivated’ and have learnt so much. But Jerome, if I have to be truly sincere with you, I think you have fallen short of paying attention to those of us that are HIV positive. I have never seen an article from you in respect of that.

Don’t you come across some HIV positive people as you counsel, coach and match make? Do you know we exist and may even be on the increase right now? We also want to socialize but are dying of stigmatization and not the medical condition itself.

Jerome, you are good at what you do. What are your plans for people like us?

Preseye

Dear Preseye,

It’s nice reading from you. And, I sure hope we can meet face to face and soon too. Thanks for your frankness. Thanks for being open. Thanks for reaching out. Thanks for believing in me.

Although none of the HIV tests I have had so far shows I am HIV positive but I know we all have some HIV problem. We all have one HIV problem or the other because despite the fact that I am negative, I can’t walk into any barber’s shop right now and use clippers carelessly. I can’t walk into a hospital for injections and not be mindful of the syringe to be used.

I can’t visit my dentist and not care if he is using implements that are not sterilized. If I choose to sin and have sex with someone that is not my spouse, I have to get loads of condoms, and even if I use condoms, I have to also wash and wash my body if I think the juice of my sex partner touched me and I am not sure of her HIV status; then I will start praying in tongues for the next one month, asking God to forgive me for my sins and that if he allows me not to be HIV positive, I will serve Him for the rest of my life.

When I fall ill and I lose a bit of weight, I am afraid that I may be HIV positive. When I see a bit of rash around my chin, neck or shoulder, I start to fast and pray and beg God not to let it be HIV. When I start to stool frequently, I probably forget that I took too much soft drinks the day before and start to confess the Word of God that by the stripes of Jesus, I am healed. I start to bind the spirit behind HIV. Now Preseye, in doing all this, don’t you think I even have more HIV problem than you do?

Unknown to you though, I have one of the most discreet groups for people living with HIV. It was tough at first bringing them together but as the need arose to socialize and relate with them and not ostracize them because of what fate has brought them, we began to have more people make inquiries and open up about their HIV status.

It’s alarming, though, how many people are living with HIV these days. There are people who attend the same church, mosque or work in the same office and don’t even know the other is also positive until they meet in one of such private meetings and eventually drop their guards.

The most amazing is one of such meetings where two sisters met and had never opened up to each other about their status and yet live in the same house! They both left much closer than they remember they have ever been in their lives. Guess who infected them? The same guy – their family doctor!

When you hear some of the stories I hear, you will realize that it is just wise to obey God in all things.

Preseye, I perceive by your name that you are male and probably from Rivers or Bayelsa State in Nigeria. I believe it will be nice of you to be part of our private meetings one of these days, and probably become a member.

I am glad though, that you are not living with fear of disclosure like most people living with HIV are. So many people living with HIV today still think it’s a death sentence, and because they usually keep it to themselves, it even makes it worse for them.

At that point, we can’t say HIV is a death sentence, but our attitude towards it. If you know some of our celebrities that are living with HIV in Nigeria, you will be dumbfounded. Yet, because they have accepted their status and chose to make the best of their lives, they are doing very well, and living healthier.

We have people living with HIV now coming out to say: “Hey, I will like to meet someone of my status for a relationship that can lead to marriage”, and if you need to know, they are meeting such persons and making decisions. Before now, because we know that a man that is HIV negative can be married to a woman that is positive, and if the situation is properly managed can always remain negative; we had encouraged such relationships where love is the foundation.

Then, we started noticing that most of such guys, after swearing and promising to stay by their girl whatever happens, run away after a while. At that point, we started strictly encouraging Positive to Positive, so as not to continue to add to the predicament of such ladies. Now, we don’t have much to fear in that area for.

It is not usually easy to go through life alone, and I know how much more discouraging it could be to go through it alone living with HIV. Life, which is naturally challenging, could be relieved when we choose not to go it alone whether we are HIV positive or not.

I believe that when God said that it’s not good for man to be alone, the truth about living could not have been better presented. Life keeps throwing different challenges at us and we feel more secure when we go at them alongside others. That is why family is good, and should be maintained. Community is also wonderful and should be encouraged.

The most important thing, at this point, is that you are not alone if you are HIV positive;, so why go through it alone?