Breaking News


Dear Jerome,

I will be 38 years old in August; still single, with broken relationships and no job though I am a graduate in Electronics Engineering. I have been jobless for 9 years now. I have no house of my own, no money and have to beg before I get money. Most times, I ask for death. It’s a useless life. I have been looking for love but I always meet the wrong type of men. Ps. 27:14 talks about WAITING ON GOD. I don’t know if I will be able to wait anymore. Every time, I cry and ask God when my sun will shine and all I get is silence.

I have prayed and fasted but still have no solutions; then, I ask for death which I think is the only solution, but that too won’t come. Will I ever come out of this miserable life? If living by faith is not the solution, then what is?

Please help


Dear Hephzibah,

Thank you for the long text message. I hope you felt much better after sending it. Let’s start by counting your blessings and name them one by one. Shall we?

n It’s good to know that you will be a year older in August. I know a lot of people that had hoped to celebrate that birthday anniversary but could not because they died. We live in a time of so many sudden deaths around the world and majority of them have occurred with people between the ages of 23-55 years; but you have been spared. Remember, the dead cannot praise God but you can because you are alive. I can assure you that if you are alive, then you can hope because, there is hope. That’s your first blessing.

n Hephzibah, your second blessing is that you have been kept intact by God. When I say intact, I mean spiritually, physically, psychologically, mentally etc. Do you know that some people in your situation have lost their minds and become the worst nightmare of their families? I don’t think you have lost yours; at least not yet, judging by the way you expressed yourself through text.

n Your third blessing is that despite the fact that, according to you, you don’t have a house of your own, you are not in a Nigerian prison. Believe me, that is a place you don’t want to go to. You have also been so blessed that you are not on a hospital bed, struck by a terminal disease or in the mortuary due to death arising from abortion like a lot of ladies have.

n Your fourth blessing is that you went to school. School is good my dear, and often, even if you never use your certificate to get a job, school broadens your scope. As an alumnus, you get to meet some people in future who can help you beyond your wildest dreams; just because at some point in time, you were in school together. You may eventually marry an old school mate who was never close to you while in school but has always had this thing for you, you know!

n Your fifth blessing is you read newspapers. Do you know a lot of Nigerians don’t read? When people don’t read, how can they exercise their minds? When people don’t exercise their minds, how can they ask questions; the right questions? And when people don’t ask the right questions, how can they have answers? You are asking questions, because you are reading and thereby exercising your mind. You are able to ask me questions through text message and here we are. A people that do not exercise their minds by reading good books, articles etc. will give themselves to anything, because their brains can no longer challenge what confronts it; so anything goes for most people today. Because you read, you are challenging the quality of your life and have come to realize that you deserve more. My dear Hephzibah, that’s where it

were going for them; losers that believed that their life can turn around irrespective of their age; losers that came to realize that losing was a thing of the mind and not the destiny of any man; losers that realized that the difference between a winner and a loser is perception, because while one sees scarcity, the other sees abundance, while one starts everyday by reading the INSTRUCTIONS OF LIFE and praying, the other one only attempts to go to it when all else has failed. Then, the loser turning into a champion starts to confront himself by refusing to blame others, but by accepting responsibility.

I believe that you are closer to becoming that champion that you were born to be, because after reading your text message over and over again, I did not see where you blamed your father, mother, siblings, friends, etc. I can assure you that that is a pass mark from me to you.

Where do we go from here? I will counsel you as a Christian since you are one.

God loves you and wants to celebrate you. I do not think you are worse than the biblical prodigal son (Luke15:11-32) and yet according to that true life story, when the boy returned home, he was treated to a celebration with the most fatted calf. According to the tradition of the Israelites in those days, the fatted calf in the family was kept for special guests. So, for the father of that boy to have used the fatted calf at home to welcome his prodigal son, it means that whenever we return to God with all our hearts, he lets us know that we will always be special to him. That’s what God wants to do with you.

He’s waiting to show you that you are special to him and will always be. So, stop thinking God has abandoned you and return to Him.

Stop comparing yourself with others, so you won’t miss your purpose in life. Jeremiah 10:23 says 。Oh Lord, I know that a man’s ways are not in himself, it is not in man that walks to direct himself。; meaning even your ways are not even in yourself like most motivational speakers make us believe today. Your ways are definitely in God. He is the only one that can give meaning to your life as you fellowship with Him every morning; as you find pleasure to go to His presence before you meet with anyone else.

He will give your life definition instead of circumstances you defining you. Then you will begin to take authority because, you receive authority every morning in prayer. Then, you will say to the mountains of your life 。Be thou removed。 and you will see things happening. You will realize that faith needs feet to take you to where you belong; faith needs you to abandon yourself to the one who has spoken and cannot lie.

When your head clears, your heart can love again. Indeed, there are good Nigerian men out there who don’t break hearts. Only women who trust God fully find them.

Hephzibah, go for counseling. Get a life-coach to help you through the second half of the year.

For counselling with Jerome on relationships, marriage and career, call 08037194335 or 08053537663. You may visit for further inquiries, and add Jerome Yaovi Codjo-Onipede on FACEBOOK as friend.begins.


Comments expressed here do not reflect the opinions of vanguard newspapers or any employee thereof.