Hello Jerome, I know what I am doing is wrong, and thatâ€™s why I need help. I had earlier spoken to you on your 08037194335. My husband has been cheating on me for a long time. I had cause to talk to him to ease things between us, but he wonâ€™t listen. I have a good job, but my husbandâ€™s job takes him away for at least a month or two before he comes home. The issue here is recently I met a young man who is separated from his wife and all over me. I have not had sex with him, but he makes me feel loved, appreciated, and has helped me to regain my self confidence. I have two children, and I donâ€™t want to continue to offend God, but I CANâ€™T SEEM TO BREAK FREE FROM THIS RELATIONSHIP. I need help. I want to obey God. Okeimute.
Dear Okeimute, thanks for sharing your present predicament with me. I hope we can work through all these. I have realized that “The greatest ironies of life includes: having the right person at the wrong time, having the wrong person when the time is right, and finding out that you love someone after that person walks out of your sight ….” in other words we sometimes donâ€™t just have everything work out the way we hope for it to go in our relationships sometimes, and that goes for most people.How then can we make our relationships work despite all the odds we may face? I believe a marriage is only as strong as the people in it. I wonâ€™t advice anyone to get married who is not strong enough to live by faith and not by sight. I will not advice anyone to get married who is not whole, and when I say whole, I mean complete in his or her Maker. Most of the time, majority of us go into marriage with expectations that cannot be met in marriage itself.
And when our unrealistic expectations are not met, we turn to others to the detriment of our spouses, who may now be left vulnerable to things that we could have protected each other from. Okeimute, you have done well by asking for help. I am sure you are also asking for help because you have a conscience that will not do things in a way that is out of order which is where there is concern about most people all over the world today. More and more people seem to be losing their conscience these days as they confirm that by the things they tend to find comfort doing. Things that only reveal that most of us today now lack value, and not even value for life, even our own lives.Okeimute, I know while your husband started cheating on you, you were very upset, upset more at the fact that you tried talking to him to see that despite the fact that you have been betrayed by him, you still want to help him to make amends so both of you will not forfeit that dream of living happily ever after, but little did you know that he was far gone from reasoning.
You see when we refuse to retain God in our knowledge and believe that God is too old fashioned to teach us how we should live our lives, God gives us up to a reprobate mind to do the things that are not convenient. A reprobate mind is a mind that cannot differentiate between what is right and what is wrong. And that (Reprobate Mind) is what I believe your husband is operating in at the moment, though there is hope for him and even for you and for your Marriage. When a woman tells her husband that she does not like a particular lady hanging around her husband, and the husband keeps defending this strange lady around him and gives reasons why she has to always be around him, even when those reasons are just unreasonable, just realize that the possibility of that man operating with a reprobate mind is high. I have never seen a situation where a wife warns her husband about a particular strange lady, and he refuses to listen without him facing the consequences. I hope men will listen more to their wives when they are warned by their wives about these strange ladies, and believe me as a Personal Counselor, I know there are so many strange ladies out there today waiting to turn men to â€œa piece of breadâ€, but I know that men that love God are usually difficult for these ladies to find.Dear Okeimute, if your husband then may be operating with a Reprobate mind, do you think he will listen to you at that point in time? You seem to be so concerned that he is unfaithful to you, and have missed the fact that he is first unfaithful to himself. He is at this time so open to the attack of the enemy and he is only co-operating with his enemies to pull him down. Itâ€™s just a matter of time before the enemies of his soul start to attack the work of his hands, and then they will attack his health and by the time they leave him, if he is still alive and the mercy and grace of God is not sought for, first on his behalf, before he can even see what a prisoner he has become, he may just be a caricature of what he use to be. And for you to know that this is real war against this husband of yours and one that the enemy wants you and your children to lose, the enemy until now has got you, your husbandâ€™s intercessor in chains as well, so that you may never look up to heaven and cry to God on his behalf. I am not one who subscribes that women should always be the ones to pray to save their homes from attack that may come to them as a family, because I know that in the olden days, it was men who took that role, and played it well, but in this situation Okeimute, it is your turn to take that position until your General who is your husband can take his place again, while heaven smiles at you for a job well done. Nevertheless, since you have asked for help, itâ€™s not too late.As I close, I want to let you know Okeimute that you got into adultery yourself, because you judged yourself better than your husband, it has been said that Judge not that you may not be Judged, for with the same measure that you Judge, it will be measured back to you.
It has also been said that Let him that thinks he stands, take heed so he doesnâ€™t fall, because after pride always comes a fall. If you take time out, you will come to realize that God never, and I repeat, God never has anything to do with the proud, but history has shown that He always resists them. So I guess the first step you need to take now will be to realize that it has been by the grace of God that you have been able to stand, while your husband had fallen and not by your own strength. I believe when you realize that and ask God for forgiveness, He will make you glide on Eagles wings again far above the enemies of your soul. The second thing is you have been so carried away by how righteous you have been and how unrighteous your husband is that up till now you have refused to forgive him because you believe he owes you, and so you have been trapped by what unforgiveness does to everyone one of us, unforgiveness makes us become exactly like the one we have refused to forgive, because unforgiveness demands that those who offend us must pay for what they have done against us, and the truth is you can never move ahead of those you are try to get even with, you will always be behind chasing them, and itâ€™s no surprise one ends up becoming exactly like such people. You will realize that what most of us have accused our parents of doing to us; we have done worse to others now. So please forgive the infidel husband of yours and you will realize that little by little the chains of the enemy over you will start to drop. Then ask God to forgive you as you have forgiven your husband, and believe God for grace that makes a difference in someoneâ€™s life again, and believe me, God will begin to orchestrate events for you in a way beyond your expectations, you will realize that that man taking advantage of you right now is not better than your husband, and probably even worse and he is not the fantastic savior you think he is, because your eyes which are blind until now will be opened. You will then have the courage to leave him and see yourself stand again before and with God, and once you can stand before God, every other thing comes under you, because Okeimute, you were born to reign and to rule with God. From then on you will see marriage in perspective, and your husband? Well you will tell the rest of the story triumphantly.
For counseling with Jerome on Relationships, Marriage and Career, call 08037194335/ 08053537663.Donâ€™t forget to add me as friend on FACEBOOK as Jerome Yaovi Codjo-Onipede.