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Why Buhari will never be president of Nigeria

ON Friday, 23rd August, 1985, the military government of Major-General Mohammadu Buhari decided to place me under arrest. My crime was that I wrote, among others, an article entitled: “Counter-trading Nigeria’s Future” in the National Concord, exposing the government’s scam of diverting public funds into private coffers through barter-trade with Brazil. A man by the name of Benson Norman was sent from the State Security Services (SSS) to my office to get me. Not finding me, he left a note that I must present myself unfailingly at the SSS office at 15 Awolowo Road, Ikoyi Lagos the next Monday morning.

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The ‘Northern’ blackmail of Nigeria

I HAVE never voted in a Nigerian election. I have only ever voted once, but it was in Britain and not in Nigeria. As a Commonwealth student in England in the 1970s, I was allowed to vote for the re-election of Harold Wilson’s Labour party. However, I am seriously thinking of casting my vote, for whatever it is worth, in Nigeria’s forthcoming elections in 2015. There is only one reason for this. I am determined that a “Northerner” must not be the next president of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.

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Dear President Obasanjo by Femi Aribisala

I am replying your letter with a very deep sense of humility, mindful of the fact that you are, and will always be, my Godfather. I learnt all the tricks of the Nigerian political scene at your feet. You taught me all the tactics I employed in securing the nomination of the PDP in 2011. I also relied on your wealth of experience in rigging the 2011 presidential elections. I am not an ungrateful son as you allege. I agree that you are the real president. It is just that I wish you would not continue to embarrass me publicly.

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Dear Goodluck Jonathan

I have decided to write you this 18-page letter BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE. If I don’t write it now, people may start considering you as a good president; forgetting that I am the only good president Nigeria has ever had. There is no one like me. As far as Nigeria is concerned, I am the Baba of the Babas. I am the president of the presidents. Before me, Nigeria had no president. After me, there will be no other president.

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The day of my resurrection from the dead by Femi Aribisala

TWENTY years ago, on 26th December, 1993, I was cornered by armed-robbers on the way from Murtala Mohammed airport in Lagos. When I slammed into a lamppost trying to escape from them, I heard a “still, small voice” which said: “Femi, nothing is going to happen to you here.” Thereafter, I was shot in the leg. Nevertheless, the voice insisted: “There is nothing wrong with your leg.”

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