Dear Bunmi,

Since I had my daughter over a year ago, I haven’t been able to enjoy love-making. My husband and I have slept together six times only and now he’s started to be impatient with me.

I want to get back the closeness we used to have before I had our child, but don’t know how.

Roli,

By e-mail.

Dear Roli,

Going off sex after the birth of a child is one of the most common problems couples have. You need to get a medical check-up from your doctor.

Post-baby or a hormonal imbalance may be causing the problem.

Start thinking instead of arguing. Build closeness by disclosing how you feel and think. Once you feel closer emotionally, you’ll feel more like having sex.

You also need to take time out to be alone. At least, once a week turn off the TV and set aside time for romance. At least, once a month have an evening out together.

Get sensual. Cuddle, hold hands and give each other massages— it’s less scary than going straight for the bedroom action and will help you bond again.

For the next month, get passionate at least twice a week— this will remind you how good sex is and help break the ‘no sex’ pattern.