By Francis Ewherido

Two days ago, 2015 breathed its last and yielded its place to 2016. Definitely, many people have made or are making New Year resolutions. This is good, especially if the resolutions are SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time defined). They should also flow from your personal mission and vision.

But while making our New Year resolutions, how about looking back and counting our blessings, especially in the last one year? To start with we are alive and that is a miracle. We are no better or holier than those who are dead; it is the grace of God that has kept us so far, especially in an age when death is never far away. Between Christmas day and today, many have died, including my former colleague, Gideon Epidi.

Many of us take being alive for granted. You appreciate life better if you have had a close shave with death or lost a loved one. There are no words to describe the hopelessness and the helplessness you feel. Somebody you once shared a part of your life with lays motionless, stone dead and there is absolutely nothing you can do to bring him/her back to life; no amount of money or medical wizardry. It is at such times the truth hits you hard: God level is far from our own. Good luck to those who do not believe in, or the existence of, God.

It was a difficult year for many of us, but we thank God for seeing us through 2015. It is wonderful to be alive; the beauty of being alive is that we have hope. That is something the dead do not have (literally speaking) and it is very significant; our fortunes can change tomorrow.

At the family level, count your blessings. If your family went through the year unscathed, thank God. If you have a family of six and lost one member during the year, thank God, it could have been worse. There was an Iranian who lost his wife and eight children in an air crash in those days. In 1980 or thereabout, there was a Nigerian, Olumide, who lost his five daughters in a fire at his residence in the United Kingdom. Every now and then we read about fatal accidents claiming the lives of more than one family member.

Are you lamenting that you had no money to buy your family New Year rice and chicken or new clothes? Know that there are other families who are not in the mood for all these because they are bereaved or battling with other monumental challenges. About three weeks ago, the late Chris Adube, a politician in Rivers State, was interred.

Adube, along with his three children and his driver, were murdered on April 3, 2015, in the political violence that engulfed Rivers State during the 2015 elections. His two children who survived the attack are carrying devastating scars of that nightmarish Friday night: 17-year-old Paul is confined to a wheelchair with a bullet lodged in his spinal cord. His sister, Ruth, has a pipe fixed on one of her legs due to the assailants’ bullet. They both need financial assistance for further treatment, not money to buy new clothes or rice and chicken.

Anybody who passed through Professor Sylvanus Ekwelie of Mass Communication Department, University of Nigeria, is always wary of using these words: “most,” “never” and “majority.” He always cautioned that we should stay away from them unless we have facts to back up our claim. For instance, he advised us to use “some” instead of “most.” This has been my guide in the last 30 years, but today I am deviating by proclaiming that MOST married people, including me, do not count their blessings. It looks like it is in the nature of man and woman to look at negatives rather than positives:

“My husband is caring and provides for the family. He is a faithful husband and a good father to our children, but he is a bit of a bore. He is not enchanting like my ex. Recently, I ran into my ex. He is now married, but I am tempted to…” Mumu, you better count your blessings and stop playing with fire that will consume you, your family and your marriage. Work with your husband to get his best out of him.

You are jobless and your wife picks the bills. Yet you expect her to come back from work and sort out the home front after you have lazed around all day. If she comes back late, you suffocate her with suspicion of infidelity. Meanwhile, you have no facts; you are just consumed by insecurity. No problem put her in purdah and go out there to fend for the family! My friend, just count yourself lucky. There are many wives out there who will throw out a jobless husband or pack their belongings and move on.

We have many cases where spouses are “good husbands” or “good wives” except that “he/she snores,” “he leaves dirty socks on the bed,” or “he/she throws his/her shoes all over the place.” There are many minor shortcomings married people focus on to the detriment of their spouses’ many great attributes. While it would be wonderful if our spouses smoothed their rough edges, we should learn to count our blessings. Focusing on shortcomings rather than counting our blessings can easily lead to resentment and discontentment, the forerunners of physical and mental abuse, separations and divorces.

While growing up, mama always advised me that in life, you look in both directions. If you look in only one direction, your neck will become stiff. There are people, some of them contemporaries, ahead of us who should inspire us to attain greater heights and those behind us to remind us of the grace of God. So while looking at what is not, what could have been and while making your New Year resolutions count your blessings, name them one by one; it will surprise you what the Lord has done. Happy New Year.