By Debbie Olujobi

The older I get the more I appreciate the wisdom of calm detachment and the beauty of silence. In Christianity, there is a potent fear of little foxes, seemingly innocent faults and weaknesses that could send one to hell and cost one to lose the salvation we all treasure. Lately I have been working on curbing my impulsiveness. When I look at myself and check for little foxes, I easily identify my impulsive nature as fox number one.

It almost feels like I am wired differently from most people as I tend to react and respond as fast as lightning to most situations. Where others will take time to ponder and contemplate, I just react, spurred on by a gut instinct that controls my actions almost automatically. For the most part its a blessing as I am actually very fast on my feet and can think analytically even when under extreme pressure.

The conundrum is informed by my moral compass that is very different from most. I don’t believe in bigotry, I cannot abide any form of bullying and I always stand up to the defence of the underdog. The result is that I will challenge authority whether constituted or otherwise without a thought to the consequence to myself or even others and that I am determined to curb. There are many wrong ways to do the right thing and acting impulsively doesn’t always give one time to find the right way to do the right thing at the right time.

Last thursday should have been just like any other day, as busy as normal. I had 3 meetings back to back and by midday I was running pretty late. I was just about to wrap up my second one when I heard a blood curdling  scream down stairs from what sounded like the direction of my car and I ran out from my location to find a grown man being beaten by what was fast becoming a mob.

My rogue impulse kicked in and I flew downstairs to rescue a total stranger from big angry men, wielding weeps and other dangerous weapons. The patron saint or angel that protects the impulsive and possibly stupid was working overtime as I was able to stop the mayhem and rescue the man in question. He was being accused of stealing a small bottle of engine oil worth N500 and I was livid that he could be killed for that.

My opposition to his lynching was not based on any proof of innocence, it was based on the value I place on human life; surely a life that God gave is worth more than $3 for heaven’s sake! I am against mob justice, lynching or bloodshed of any sort and my gut reaction is to resist it. Not trusting the police or justice system is not enough for anyone or groups of people to administer a death sentence.

A few hours later I was pondering the above event and while I didn’t regret my actions I knew I had once again failed to control the impulse that caused me to put myself in harm’s way to defend a total stranger. I believe most people are repulsed by bloodshed and people of faith in particular should be more so.  Mob justice is a reaction to the evil of robbers who show no mercy and I totally understand people’s reaction to want to make them pay where possible.

I agree that they should pay and the constitution certainly makes capital punishment the end of such convicted robbers. My repulsion comes from arbitrary killings by mobs who constitute of people who didn’t even know what happened, witnessed any wrong doing but who just grab weapons and begin to hack people to death.

Not too long ago 4 young men, who turned out to be innocent were beaten, hacked and burnt to death by such a mob and they will forever be remembered as the Alu 4. Those vibrant young men would be alive today if the law had been given a chance to run its course. Most of the villagers who joined in the gruesome murder of those boys didn’t even know why they were being beaten. Since the tragedy of the Alu 4 my impulse to protect and defend the dignity and sanctity of life is trigger fast.

To some my intervention would be stupid and it shouldn’t surprise anyone that I totally agree; it was so stupid! If I had given myself time to think about it I would probably feel fear for myself and cowered like all the others who watched in disgust from their balconies. I could possibly have achieved the same result if I had alerted the building manager; that would have been the smart thing to do.

It was a dangerous situation and I cant even claim that I had any courage or confidence there and then; I had simply reacted without pausing to consider fear or consequences. As a defining moment, I hope it would count for me in the eyes of God for righteousness but in my quest to rid myself of those pesky foxes, it counts as a failure.

I need to bring my impulses under control and I have been praying about it, I have also asked those nearest and dearest to me to help. There are many things in the world I don’t agree with but being a loose canon is not going to make effective change happen. One of my favourite Bible verses is Psalm 19:13 “Keep back your servant from presumptuous sins, let them not have dominion over me. Then I shall be blameless and innocent of great transgressions”

They say you are halfway to solving a problem if you admit you have it and I certainly need to rein in my impulses. Whatever you cant control you are subject to and I refuse to be subject to anything or anyone other than the Most High God. One of my impulses has been to quit the column, I just feel like I am all talked out! I continue because I am encouraged by a few people who believe it is an integral part of my life’s journey.

The column has evolved from “fun to calling” and I give God the glory for a platform to be blessed and be a blessing. So I trudge along in my journey and pray God to remove the sin of presumption from me, impulses when not subject to control are just that and count as little foxes, they can’t be allowed to spoil the vine…