Isn’t it just like a man to get sex if and when he wants it?  Just like reaching for a bottle of cold beer before settling in from of the telly?  Or how do you explain the spate of rape that is for ever-escalating?  And the police role in all this is unprofessional, to say the least. No surprising really, since they belong to the same gender as the predators, we want them to protect us from. And if these men are not raping unwilling victims, they’re scheming to let loose their raping libido between the sheets of vulnerable women.  For men, who think nothing of sleeping with their house maids and ‘wiping mouth’, what happened to Doyin recently looks like the norm!

Engaged to Gbenga, her boyfriend of six years for almost three years, her dad became fed up with the long wait to walk down the aisle and heir excuse of not having enough money to wed, and volunteered to foot the wedding. We were over the moon, Doyin said. There was no doubt in my mind that I loved Gbenga, that he was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. It was the wedding I always dreamt of having and I never tired of showing off my wedding ring whenever I could.  Some few months into the marriage, however, I started to feel a bit uneasy.  Our love-life had been red-hot before we got married. He was a stud in the real sense of the word and he never ran out of steam.  Lately enough, he’d started to struggle in the bedroom department, he didn’t seem up to it any more.

My new husband was not so concerned anyway. Now that the stress of getting married was behind us, he assured me that things would improve.  I sympathized with him. He’d been putting extra work into his business to earn extra cash as his contribution to the wedding. No wonder he was suffering.  The next time we travelled, his doctor recommended he should try Kamagra – an alternative to Viagra with minimal side effects – to kick-start our sex life.  I hoped it would help improve his libido but he still kept on stalling

I won’t spend a dime marrying Bobrisky – Tonto Dikeh

“A few months later, I noticed him sneakily slipping something into his briefcase. I was curious. My 30th birthday was a few days away. Was he trying to hide my birthday present?  I wanted to wait until the D-Day to find out what it was, but I couldn’t stand the suspense. As soon as he was in the bathroom, I made my move, I grabbed his briefcase, opened it and started rummaging. Only after a few minutes of frantic hunting, I still hadn’t found any present.  I found it strange.  I’d seen the secretive look on his face. Was he up to something sinister?  I looked in the briefcase a second time and noticed something odd. Gbenga’s sunglasses case was flashing. I opened it to find a phone I didn’t recognise. As I picked it up, a message sprang up.  `I can’t wait for you to ring my bell like you did last night’, it said. Confused, I scanned his message box. It was full of similarly saucy texts, all from different women. I was horrified. Could this be someone else’s phone?

‘Still confused, I checked the sent messages and nearly choked.  ‘Hello sexy,’ one said, ‘when are you coming over for a top-up?’, I was furious. All those cays he’d supposedly been working late to save for the wedding was just a smoke screen for his womanising. And they’d obviously been getting down and dirty in his pocky office. I furiously searched the rest of the phone and came across more nauseating texts. The address book was crammed with all sorts of photos too – and a video!  I felt sick to my stomach. What sort of a weirdo was I married to?

“I charged into he bathroom and confronted him in the shower, `How could you stoop so low?’, I  screamed, holding the phone aloft. A look of horror spread across his face. He jumped out, still dripping wet and covered in suds.  “Darling, I’m sorry’, he stammered.  `I should have told you that I have a very sex drive’.  I laughed coldly. He sure had!  All the time he’d been taking his fancy Viagra with me, he’d been having off in his office with all sorts of women. No wonder he’d kept conking out after servicing all his eager women!

“I just got into my car and left for the office, but I couldn’t get any job done so I went to my parent’s house. Mum was in and I had to confide in her.  She was speechless.  We both read through all the messages properly as I shook with shock and rage. It turned out he’d had been close to 20 women and meeting regularly with nine of them. Sometimes they’d hook up in his office or even in our flat when I was out!  And not once had he mentioned in the texts he had a wife – so he was lying to these women as well”.  Livid, I sent out a group message: `Hi, it’s Doyin, Gbenga’s wife.  Just found his spare phone and can see he’s texting all nine of you. I’d advise you all to get yourself checked out in case he’s given you something nasty’.  I pressed `send’ and a few minutes later, the phone started beeping with replies. Some of the girls were as young as 17 and 18, and they all apologised. No one of them had known he was marr5ied. They had been victims in this sick charade, just like I was.

“My mother believed he was sick. I agreed with her and told her I wasn’t going back to that flat ever!  My parents arranged for my stuff to be brought back home. How do you expect to mend a marriage that was so full of deceit?  Gbenga tried to win me back, sent friends and relatives to me but they all had very little to say after they’d read the messages and seen the video. Now a year later, I don’t know if I’ll ever trust any man again. Deep down, I know not every man is a wheeler-dealer love rat like Gbenga, but I once thought I knew him!  All I want for now is to try and move on with my life now the shock has worn off.”