*Notes economic hardship is no excuse for toxic masculinity

By Luminous Jannamike & Folarin Kehinde

ABUJA — The Convener of the Single Ladies Conference Abuja, Mary Chinda, says empowering single women is essential to addressing rising gender-based violence, marital instability and the wider social challenges affecting Nigeria.

According to her, strong societies grow out of strong families; and such families cannot exist unless women are emotionally stable, well-informed and empowered before they enter marriage.

Chinda shared these thoughts at the maiden edition of the Single Ladies Conference Abuja 1.0, where she and other speakers, including Cecilia Agu, Founder of Bedroom Matters International, engaged participants on the pressures, expectations and realities shaping marital outcomes for young Nigerian women.

A broadcaster with Arise TV, Chinda explained that the goal of the conference was to equip single women with emotional, spiritual and psychological tools that would help them make healthier marital decisions and, ultimately, reduce avoidable cases of conflict, divorce and abuse.

“If the woman is empowered as a single person, she knows herself, her worth and her value. It is then easier to choose an empowered, healed and whole man before getting married and forming a beautiful family,” she stated.

She noted that many cases of marital breakdown stem from early pressures on women to marry before they have fully healed or gained clarity about themselves.

“Marital pressure pushes women into marriages they are not prepared for. When a woman rushes in without clarity, it contributes to increasing reports of abuse, divorce and even suicide. Healing and self-knowledge must come first,” Chinda said.

She added that the growing numbers of divorce, gender-based violence and emotional abuse highlight the urgent need for women to be emotionally ready before entering relationships, stressing that the conference was designed to address these issues from the foundation.

Chinda further underscored the importance of recognising emotionally responsible partners and warned against relationships built on trauma, fear or societal expectations. She acknowledged that economic hardship has slowed some men from marrying but insisted that responsibility is a personal virtue.

“The economy is tough, but choosing to be responsible is not dependent on government. Men must strive, be hardworking, and become the responsible leaders God created them to be,” she noted.

She also emphasised the need for healthy masculinity and a balanced understanding of patriarchy rooted in godly leadership, mutual respect and emotional maturity.

In her remarks, Cecilia Agu stressed that sustainable marriages thrive not just on love but also on shared values, spiritual alignment and emotional competence.

“Marriage works when two people love God, share visions, and are committed to forgiving and supporting each other,” Agu said.

She linked Nigeria’s rising divorce rate to poor partner selection and a lack of practical marital skills, warning that many couples rely on prayer alone while neglecting communication and emotional intelligence.

“People think prayer alone can solve marital problems. Prayer works, but you must also understand communication, emotional intelligence and accountability. If you don’t talk to each other, someone else will,” she noted.

Agu added that while many women leave harmful marriages for their safety and wellbeing, there is a pressing need for proper preparation before committing to any union.

“Do not stay in a marriage and die, but also ensure you’re not entering one without the right tools. Make your marriage work especially when you are with your God-ordained partner,” she warned.