By Esther Ijewere

I had to dig through before I found this photo of Asake from his GQ feature in April 2024.

I was looking for an image that reflected both my emotions as a child and his silent response to the ongoing saga.

I once left a comment when he changed his look, covering his face with tattoos. I said he was either rebranding or masking a pain he wasn’t ready to confront.

The truth about his childhood remains unclear, aside from scattered blog posts, some painting his father in a bad light, others portraying his mother as bitter and harsh. But I am in no position to judge the father who allegedly raised him partially and then abandoned him, nor will I throw his mother under the bus.

What I do know is that Asake deserves love from his family, not a public spectacle that leaves him open to criticism.

In all our hot takes, I hope we remember that beneath the fame, there is a child in this body who likely longs to hear something other than “I need money.”

Artists who sing about loneliness or try to detach from vulnerability are often battling deep internal struggles. There’s a void they are trying to fill. Something they crave but cannot seem to find.

Rejection, especially from a parent, can shape a child’s entire existence. It creates a lifelong battle of defensiveness, a feeling of always being misunderstood. A child who grows up hearing “I love you” moves through life differently than one who hears “I don’t want anything to do with you.”

Some wounds cannot be healed by money, fame, or influence. True healing requires conscious effort from within.We can’t force it on people either.

You can tell a person to forgive without asking them to forget their lived experience.

Rather than judge, I choose to send light and love to this incredible artist.

No child should grow up in a world where age and cultural expectations suppress their emotions. Children raised this way often become defensive adults, struggling to express themselves, or they shut people out completely.

To parents: Please, don’t let the world raise your talented children for you. Be present. Be intentional. Be the voice they hear before the noise of the world tries to define them.

A child who feels truly seen and loved at home will have less to prove to the world.

I wish him well.

Light, always

PS:

This article is deeply personal to me. It was never just about Asake. It reflected my own lived experiences and the memories they evoked. I have always supported creatives and used my platform, Women of Rubies, to amplify their voices.

©️ Esther Ijewere, a media strategist and women’s advocate, who originally published this piece on Facebook, wrote in from Canada