SOME years back, I once asked an old friend how it felt like being jilted at age fortyish. She’s actually started making wedding plans when loverboy suddenly got married to a girl much younger than she was. She was so devastated she hid from her friends, refusing to even discuss her plight. “No different from when you were jilted at age 20.

Only it hurts more,” she shrugged. “You fall in love. You win or weep. But whilst the relationship lasts, you’re on a sort of roller coaster. That is why when it stops suddenly, it is like one of your limbs being cut off… .” Cynthia was on this emotional high when she approached her husband of over 20 years. Four kids and years of enduring his philandering had made her wonder how it would feel if she could find a man to take her away from her seemingly dead marriage.

She day-dreamed of how devastated her husband would feel at the news and how revenge for her would be very sweet indeed! Her husband was simply insufferable. It was obvious that he now took her for granted. He treated her no better than a baby factory and a maid. Well, she had news for him. Yes, a man was now actually in love with her in her mid-forties.

He was a good catch too! He had his own business and was generous with money. He lived alone though he’d been married before. Who knows, she might just be the one to move into that lovely big house of his – as his wife. In the meantime, she had to persuade her husband to let her go to the funeral of her best friend’s mother outside Lagos. She knew he wouldn’t come with her. Going out together these days was a no-no.

“I’m not going that far away for anything, least of all a funeral. You know we have just one functional car,” his reaction was typical. When Cynthia told him that a luxury bus was being provided for guests coming from Lagos, her husband refused to even think about it. If Cynthia wanted to make the sacrifice, she was more than welcome to do so alone! She could not believe her luck!

She’d already agreed to go with Chike, her lover, if she could get away for the weekend. He was in love with her, that much she knew. She’d never eaten so much clandestine lunches in her life before. And the presents he gave in cash and kind were simply unbelievable. He’d given her morale a huge boost and she positively glowed. Now, she was going away with him for a wild weekend! Her friend’s home-town was more or less a rustic village but Cynthia’s lover had made arrangements for them to lodge in a town that was some few miles to the venue of the funeral.

He picked her up at an arranged spot and off they went! “If you had both feet on the ground and were not blinded by love,” Cynthia explained, “the so-called hotel was not more than a hovel. But it looked romantic to me and more than adequate for the weekend tryst; bed and al. Chike came laden with my favourite drinks. As soon as we checked into the hotel, we were lost to the world. Much later, we ventured out to the venue of the funeral.

A lot of my friends wondered how I got to the place and I introduced Chike as a relative who was from the village to attend the funeral, and how he’d kindly given me a lift. Within minutes, he was at the other end of the party with friends he said he made on the spot! He was quite a charmer. This way, no one would twig to the fact that we were an item. “As soon as the formalities of the funeral were over, off we went to explore the town.

The food from one of the local bukas tasted nice, the warm beer like an exotic drink and by the time we were ready to leave, I couldn’t be more in love within him. I was in seventh heaven and singing all the love songs that’d been long buried in my subconscious. Chike handled me as if I was his prized possession. I felt loved. Before we left, he’d already handed me a generous cheque to more than cover the amount of money I told him I would need for two of my children who were going to the university.

What their dad gave me could hardly cover anything. And talking about kids, Chike was the father they never had. He didn’t ask to meet them, but whenever I wanted anything done for them, he was more than willing. “My husband wasn’t even home when I came back, couldn’t care less – he could have as many love affairs as he wanted. Nothing he did would be as exciting as what I now had. When the house maid told me there wasn’t much of a dinner for ‘Oga’ in the house, I gave her some of the money I brought back to rustle something for him. I then watched with sadistic delight as he wolfed down dinner provided for by his rival’s money!

The following day, I called Chike’s office as usual and was told he’d gone out for the day. I felt a bit disappointed. We usually had lunch on Mondays and Fridays and he normally phoned if he couldn’t make it. He didn’t return my call and when I phoned again on Friday, the secretary, who was always warm turned hostile when I asked if she knew where Chike was. “I didn’t see him until some four weeks later. I was almost a nervous wreck, wondering if he was ill or in financial trouble. But he looked wonderful and stress-free. He told me he’s been quite busy clinching a deal that was worth a fortune.

My association with him has really brought him financial success, he said, and gave me another generous cheque that left me speechless. “We made wonderful love as usual and the next day, I went to cash the cheque. I’d never owned that much money in my life! This is what life would be like if and when I ended up as his wife, I thought. That was over two years ago. After what I now realize was a ‘pay-off,’ Chike became incommunicado. In the end, I took courage in both hands and went to see him at home. I’d never done that without his knowledge as he’d said casually once that he didn’t like surprises. “The security man said he was in because he knew me, of course.

Later, he came to apologise. He had just resumed duty, he said without quite catching my eyes and the man he relieved didn’t tell him ‘Oga’ had gone out. That was the last I heard of him and I never made any effort to contact him again – I have my pride. Even after all these months, I still cringe whenever I think of what a fool I’d been. What if I’d been tempted to do that a few times when he was bring his impossible self, but was bidding my time until Chike urged me to leave him. What an idiot I was. “It’s true that there is no fool like an old fool! In my desperation for love, I’d forgotten that a man who lives alone like Chike, does that out of choice – not out of lack of women to move in with him”.