FOR a man who just turned 30, Joel should be at his most virile.  Tall, handsome with a well-paid job, he admits he’s never had any difficulty attracting the opposite sex.  His problem is that when he wants to have sex with a woman, he needs up to two Viagra pills to perform.  The blue tablets have long been viewed as essential medication for men in their 50s, 60s and beyond.  But Joel is one of a growing number of young men turning to the drug due to what experts believe to be performance anxiety, triggered by a host of psychological issues from the proliferation porn on the internet making ‘normal’ sex seem boring, to financial pressures.

Joel, an entertainment promoter, was just 25 and on a ‘shagging’ weekend with friends in one of the neighbouring countries when he took his first pill.  It was supplied to him by a friend after he had got lucky picking up a girl for the night.  Even though he’d never had erectile problems, he was so impressed by the extra stamina it gave him he continued to take the drug with subsequent girlfriends.  Now Joel says he always has a stockpile of the drug – on which he spends a fortune – simply by picking them up at any reputable chemist. 

Now he says he’s in despair over his reliance on the drug.  “I diet, I exercise at the gym regularly and I’m almost as fit as I was when I was a teenager.  I love the company of women and always have.  But now I’m in my 30s, I’ve been exposed to so much sex, I sometimes find it hard to do without Viagra.  No matter how I’m feeling, what’s going through my head, or how attracted to the women I’m with, it makes no difference.  Now, if I know I’m due to see a woman, I discreetly take two pills before hand.”

Viagra contains sildenafil citrate and works by improving blood flow to the penis.  Joel confesses he sometimes experiences ringing in the ears, but despite the dangers, he feels as a single man, he has no choice.  “I know it’s bad for my health,” he says.  “I can hear my heart palpitating when I take the tablets, and I come out in cold sweats.  Sometimes, the beating is so loud, I think I’m going to have a heart attack.  I need some help to stop.”

So why is a drug, once linked to greying, paunchy men past their prime, now taking over the sex lives of the young and seemingly virile?  Raymond Francis, a psycho-sexual counsellor says he sees about 15 men a month who feel dependent on Viagra.  The average age is 32 – his youngest client is just 27.  He says: “I think this is just a small sample of the problem.  These men don’t have any physical problems that would cause erectile difficulties.  Instead they feel they need it because they are putting too many expectations on themselves – based on what they believe women want in the bedroom.”  In many cases, Raymond says his male patients have been influenced by seeing internet pornography from a young age. 

“Sometimes these men will have deeply embedded and unrealistic expectations of the women they want to have sex with – on what they should be able to do.”  One of such patient is James, 32, who was dependent on the drug throughout much of his 20s before he sought help two years ago.  He places the root of his problem on internet porn, which he says he started viewing when he was 15 – long before he lost his virginity.  “Seeing all these studs going for hours on end seemed to underline what I couldn’t do,” he says.  “I felt so ashamed, I resorted to Viagra.  When I had a girlfriend, I’d take the pill first thing in the morning, so I’d get the sex over and done with under controlled conditions.”  Sam says it was when he fell in love with his current partner that he realised he needed help.

He says:  “The first time we slept together, I took the pill secretly, but the expectations were high because she was so special to me.  So that time, even Viagra didn’t work.  I could see she was worried and upset it was her fault, so I decided I had to be candid and told her everything.  Thank God I did.  I now have a normal sexual relationship with her.  It took six months of counselling, but thanks to her, I found the courage to look at the underlying issues.”

Raymond Francis, the psychosexual counsellor says another common problem is men reporting they feel intimidated by the sexual confidence and demands of modern young women.  “Women are now so empowered,” he says.  “They feel they have as much right as men to dictate the pace sexually.  We are not just talking about girls who would once have been seen as promiscuous.  These days a professional career woman who has been brought up in a culture of success wants to exercise that freedom and strength in her sex life, too.  In just one or two generations, there has been a turn around.  Before, it was always the expectation that the man was the predator.  Now ladette culture has turned that on its head.  Faced with this pressure, young men bring performance fears to the bedroom long before any sex takes place.”

Riyike, an attractive finance worker in her late 20s admits it was partly the sexual demands she put on her partner which helped trigger the anxieties that contributed to his impotence.  “When the sex wasn’t great, I was honest about how frustrated I was from the outset, which made the problem worse,” she says.  “We tried Viagra, but it felt like a planned event.  So now I don’t want him to tell me if he’s taken it or not.  I just want to think the sex was naturally great.”  According to her, attitude to sex is typical of her generation, and many of her girlfriends are reporting similar problems in the bedroom.

She says: “Women our age probably do have more sexual past.  I’ve had 15 partners, while my partner’s only had five, so that’s another layer of pressure on him.  Because I’m quite skilled sexually, he probably wonders where I learned it from and how he compares.”

The taboo around Viagra use among young men is so great that despite the embarrassment factor, Joel says he’s speaking up because he feels it’s time the issue was more openly discussed.  “I’m not ashamed of my dependence – I know so many men my age with the same issue who started off using it recreationally and now find it hard to stop.  I think many of us wish we’d never taken it that first time.  I, for one, would love to be free of it.”

Sweet Small of Success!  (Humour)

Sitting at home one night with his wife, a man is casually tossing peanuts into the air and catching them in his mouth.  As the couple take in the latest episode of watchdog, the man loses concentration for a split second and a peanut goes into his ear.  He tries to get the nut out, but succeeds only in forcing the thing in awfully deep.  After a few hours of fruitless rooting, the couple decide to go to the hospital, but on their way out of the front door they met their daughter coming in with her boyfriend.

The boyfriend takes control of the situation: he tells them he’s studying medicine and that they’re not to worry about a thing.  He then sticks two dingers up the man’s nose and asks him to blow – and lo, the nut shoots from the ear and out across the room.  As the daughter and her boyfriend go through the kitchen to make a pot of tea, the man and his wife sit down to discuss their luck.  “So,” the wife says, “what do you think he’ll become after he qualifies?  A GP or a surgeon?” “Well,” says the man, rubbing his nose, “by the smell of his fingers, our son in law”.

In The Heat of Passion

A man and his wife are driving home in their expensive new car one night when they both got horny, and decide to christen the sparkling motor with a shag.  Pulling into a lay-by they get down to business, but soon realised their nice new motor’s actually too small for the amount of erotic manoeuvring they want to do.  The guy suggests they climb out and have a go under the car, which he promises his wife will provide ample clearance for his heaving buttocks, so the couple slip under the pristine vehicle and go at it like the clappers.  In fact, they’re enjoying themselves so much that they don’t notice when a policeman comes over and taps the man on the back of his exposed legs.

“What do you think you’re doing?” the copper asks the man.  “I’m fixing my car,” the chap calmly replies.  “No you’re not!” the policeman says through hysterical laugher.  “You’re having sex in public, and, I’m going to nick you for indecent exposure.”  “How do you know I’m lying?” the indignant man asks.  “Well,” the copper replies, “for a start, you’re facing downwards on top of a naked woman.  Secondly, I don’t see any tools anywhere.  And thirdly, your car was stolen five minutes ago.”