-Readers, don’t try this at home

You remember the Bobit saga decades ago, where the wife snipped off the penis of the husband who was physically abusive to her?  Well, this comes close.  According to a foreign news report, Jamie Larson got more than he bargained for when his missus tipped a red hot curry over his crotch. 

The unlucky lad’s tackle looked like a Shami kebab after his live-in-lover discovered he’d been shagging her best friend.

According to the report, Karen Jones was mad as hell – and chucked a pan full of scalding curry over her cheating fella’s crotch.  “I was sitting watching the football in just my boxer short,” recalled Jamie.  “Karen was making the tea and talking on the phone. 

Suddenly, I heard a loud scream from the kitchen and I knew I was in trouble, even before Karen busted into the living room.  She was carrying a frying pan with the curry in it.  She called me a “bastard” and tipped it straight in my lap.  It hurt like hell and I must have almost passed out from the pain because it was all a bit of a blue after that.”

Karen, 21, said she was so angry she didn’t think – until she saw Jamie with steam rising from his sizzling tackle.  She rushed him down to Gloucester Royal Hospital for emergency treatment – but the doctors couldn’t save all of his knob.  He admitted: My foreskin was so badly scalded that they had to remove it – apart from that, my old friend has come through this unscathed.  Lucky for him. 

The unrepentant philanderer confessed that he “hurt a lot whenever I got a hard-on in hospital.  Considering I had loads of horny nurses rubbing soothing lotion on it all day, it was bloody difficult not to get aroused”.

He however, admitted he was in the wrong sleeping with Karen’s best friend Lisa, but reckoned his hot-headed girlfriend should have told him to calm down – instead of deep-frying his manhood.  According to him, “things had been going a bit stale in the bedroom between me and Karen. 

When I got the chance with her friend. I jumped at it.  In fact, I went back a few times because the sex was so fantastic.  She was absolutely gagging for it all the time.  She first came on to me after a group of us had been out in town.  We came back to ours for a drink and Karen went off to bed early.  There was a bit of an awkward silence – and then she jumped on me and stuck her tongue in my mouth and that was it.  The fact that Karen was asleep just a few feet above us made it all the more exciting”.

After that first encounter, Jamie and Lisa met up for sizzling romps at every available opportunity.  According to Jamie, “I would tell Karen I was going to the shop, then pick up Lisa and drive into the countryside.  As soon as she got in the car she would be all over me.  That girl is sex maniac, I tell you. 

One afternoon, Karen was at work when I sneaked home to meet up with Lisa.  We went straight upstairs and started making love in the bedroom.  She was going crackers as usual, moaning and yelling and scratching at my back.  Just then, through the bedroom window, I saw Karen’s car pull up outside the house.  Luckily, Lisa is very athletic, so she climbed down the back drain-pipe while I got into bed and pretended I had come home sick!”