June 4, 2023

Do you honestly believe you can get away with two timing?

Dear Bunmi, I need tips on how to find a man

I have always warned that the easiest way to start an affair is with a person very close to you, be it an in-law or a friend. So, when your instinct tells you your hubby is getting too frisky with your sister, alarm bells should start clanging in your brain. Wahab is the type of man who brags he doesn’t usually look for trouble – but he’s often pushed into having affairs by women who wouldn’t leave him alone.

A bit conceited, he said he recently found himself in another spot of trouble he didn’t create. Married under 10 years with two children, he told me; “I get on well with my wife and our children are adorable. But you can scarcely say the same thing for our sex life – it’s not as hot as it used to be. My wife is a nurse and often works shifts, and sometimes, we hardly see each other from one week to the next.

“Then, about three months ago, her sister was kicked out of her matrimonial home for reasons I found a bit far-fetched. She had nowhere to go, so I agreed she could move to the guest room. She’s a good looking woman, but very frisky. This was her second attempt at marriage and the two children she has lived with my mother-in-law. She is supposed to be self-employed and began to come home when I wasn’t working – more often than not, when her sister was in the office.

A few times, she’d let it slip what she could do to me if I wasn’t married to her sister – it was obvious she fancied me – what man wouldn’t be flattered? I honestly tried to ignore her but her flirting grew more outrageous. I was talking on the phone one day when she brushed past me to get to the fridge. On her way back, she stood behind me and started fondling me. She undid my shirt and began to stroke my chest until I quickly finished the call.

“By then, I was so aroused that when she started taking off her clothes, I couldn’t bring myself to tell her to stop. It was a long time I’d had sex and she said she felt like a bit of fun. That was all the invitation I needed and we had sex right there in the living room! Afterwards, she said she scored my performance seven out of 10 and that next time, I had to aim for eight. The cheek of it! I told her point blank there wouldn’t be a next time, but she gave me a look that said I was lying. I am ashamed to admit that whenever she turns up and I’m on my own, we end up in my matrimonial bed together, and the more we have sex, the more electrifying sex with her becomes.

“The only cloud on the horizon is my being scared my wife will find out, yet I find my sister-in-law so exciting, I ignore the consequence of being found out. Now, my wife is suggesting that her sister comes on holiday with us. I like the idea of her coming, but I’m afraid that if she does, she will start coming on to me in the two-bedroom apartment we would share and I won’t be able to resist her. If I say no to her coming, my wife might think it odd. I know it would be madness to let her come with us because of her delight in her brazen behaviour and my wife will sense something is going on.

“I know she’s only having fun and has no intention of snatching me from her sister. But she’s not keen on starting another relationship now I’m providing all the sex she needs. I’m not complaining mind you. I just think it’s too good to be true and I don’t want my wife to be hurt in case the bubble bursts.”

Tosin, a married mother of three admitted she met David over the phone. “I work for an IT company and David was the General Manager of another of our branch located outside Lagos,” she explained. “I had to deal with him a lot over the phone and found his deep, gentle voice sexy. With time I told him I was married and my husband had a partial stroke. As a result, love-making was virtually non-existent and David told me he was a divorcee who was too happy being free to commit again. ‘I’d love to see what you look like?’, I half-joked over the phone.

“Look, I’m not what you could call handsome,’ he spluttered, ‘just cuddly. You will decide yourself when we meet.” “I was sure he was just being modest. Inevitably, I had to go to his office on official matters. I was to be there for two nights. When I told David, he was as keen as I was that it was about time we met. The office was deserted when I finally arrived as most workers were out for lunch, David had promised to wait for me and as I looked around, I didn’t see anyone that looked remotely like the mental picture I had of him. Where was he? Then, a short, fat man with balding hair waddled his way towards me. ‘Tosin?’ he boomed, “It’s me, David!’ My heart dropped. He looked more of a Michelin Man than the tall handsome flirt I’d envisaged.

I slapped on a fake smile, ‘David’, I sputtered, ‘it’s lovely to finally meet you.’

We’d arranged I should stay in his flat and save my hotel allowance. His flat was something else with lacklustre carpet and PVC settee, it looked really hideous. I shuddered with regret – could I go through this charade for one night? Then, David appeared with a bottle of wine, some chicken and two wine glasses. He started rattling off some of the amusing stories he’d regaled me with over the phone and I started laughing. Relaxing, I took another look at him. OK, so he wasn’t as handsome as I thought but he wasn’t that bad.

“In spite of that, I slept in the spare room, telling myself firmly he wasn’t my type. The next day at the office, I watched him handle his duties with admirable efficiency, oozing confidence. Back at his flat, he simply made a grab for me as he put on a smooch number and I melted against his swaying body. Not fat, I thought just cuddly. ‘I want you’, he growled, wrestling me into a clinch on his horrible settee! We practically ran into his bedroom clawed off each other’s clothes. And as he caressed my sex-starved body, I didn’t care that he wasn’t physical perfection, he certainly knew what he was doing. The man I thought gentle and dull was now a dynamo in bed, he was enthusiastic, imaginative and energetic. We made love for hours. And the next morning, we started again…

“What a cosy arrangement it’s turned out to be! Whenever I’m in David’s ‘territory’ we meet up and make the most of it. David has his freedom and could play the field as much as he likes, and I have a home I’m still proud of.”