I got married early last year, because I was pregnant. I love my husband and daughter, but marriage is not as interesting as I thought it would be.

We both have good jobs and my mom helps in looking after the child when I’m away in the office. I also have a fairly well behaved maid. 

Yet, I’m not happy. I see the years ahead stretching out like this and I feel disillusioned. 

I don’t even know if my husband feels the same way, as I haven’t discussed it with him, in case he feels hurt.

Please help. 

Omorode, by e-mail.

Dear Omorode,

Don’t panic. A lot of new brides experience doubts similar to yours – not about their husbands but about being married.

Here are some top tips for new brides, who are wondering if they did the right thing:

Don’t expect your wedding day to make life perfect…it’s just the beginning of a new phase, not a guarantee for happiness.

Give yourself a realistic period to work out how to live together. You should then stick with this for at least a year.

Swap notes with your spouse on how you see your relationship; compare expectations and make sure you’re in sync, take time to be with individuals, keep up with friends, follow your interests – so you feel you’re in control of life. 

Remember, you don’t have to be married in the same way as your mom and dad were.

Checkmate the marriage you want – in your own style.