I’ve been married for 16 years, and we have three children. I recently learnt from a family member that my husband had a secret family who lived close to her friend’s house – and that the woman had two children for my him.

I didn’t really believe her because she’s naturally a vicious gossip. When I told my husband about what I learnt, I was expecting him to deny it. Instead, he confessed he’s had the affair running for over 10 years – barely six years after our marriage.

Naturally, I told our children and they were as shocked as I was. I’m worried about the effect on my children if we split up, but I don’t really know how to handle this. Do you? I feel so betrayed.

Queen, by e-mail.

Dear Queen,

Now that your husband’s secret is out, you’ll discover that instead of the stability you once enjoyed in your marriage, you’ll be constantly worrying about where your husband is and who he is with.

Hour husband doesn’t want to be separated from his first family. If he did, he would have let the cat out of the bag sooner than now. You have to decide what you want and work through your betrayal with your kids who are obviously resentful of their father’s behaviour.

I don’t think you can ever trust your husband but how does he feel about your finding out? Did he regret his action? Promise it would never happen again? How deep is his commitment to this other family of his? Time alone would sort out this nightmare of yours. But at the end of the day, you alone can decide what to do, especially if there are chances of him cheating again with a succession of women.

Share your problems and release your burden. Write now to Dear Bunmi: [email protected]

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