I am in my mid-20s and have known my current partner for over three years. He’s in his late 40s and a widower.

He is bald and certainly looks his age. 

My friends say I can do better than what I’ve got. I really care for him as he’s been very supportive financially.

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But there are times I look at him and wish he were 20 years younger.
Kemi, by e-mail.

Dear Kemi,
You care for your man and want to be with him but the message that people close to you convey with cruel jibes or kindly-meant advice is that, by being with this man, you’re throwing your life away.

Even though your man gives you a great deal of what you need, recognise that you may find yourself attracted to younger men and that this man may not be the one who one day will become your husband and father your kids.

Have you talked this over with him? The thought that you can be friends and lovers and not life-long partners might ease your current discomfort.

There are marriages that have thrived where the husbands are much older.

But you don’t even seem happy with the man you have and wishing he were younger wouldn’t change anything.

(Share your problems and release your burden. Write now to Dear Bunmi: [email protected])

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