Dear Bunmi,

When we got married, I agreed to stay at home with our four children.  So, for the past 12 years I have been a full-time mom, which has been great. But now they’re all at school, I’m itching to go back to work – only my husband is kicking against it. It’s true I want for nothing financially, but I am a qualified lawyer and need to have a life after taking care of the kids.

Chinwe, by e-mail.

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Dear Chinwe,

Going back to work can shake a happy family, because routines will have to change.  But not going back can also disrupt a family because one person isn’t feeling fulfilled in life.  

You need to consider starting with a part-time job, so you can find your feet and your family can learn to adapt.  Work with your family to draw up a plan of how you’ll do things differently, particularly if there’s a crisis.

Remember that if you work, there would be more opportunities for your kids to take up extra responsibilities, which will help them mature emotionally and develop useful skills.  You shouldn’t try to do as much at home as you did before you worked.  You’ll inevitably need to let some things slide.  Whatever you do, you need to build quality time with your family.  They’ll value that even more if you’re not around all the time.