President Muhammadu Buhari must find a way to pleasantly surprise some of us this Yuletide. His best friends are found among Christians and he loves to host prominent men of God.

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I am sure his family has not thought about his place in the Christian calendar. He is a December child. His birthday celebrations began on December 17, and may not end until after the Christmas holidays.

Mr. President is so much in love with December that he chose the last day of the last month of the year 1983 to announce himself to the nation as Head of the beret-wearing junta that sacked President Shehu Shagari.

Sorry, it was a Christmas present from young officers like Mustapha Haruna Jokolo and the gang of Majors. Buhari was in Jos doing his GOC job when he was asked to lead Nigeria.

Santa Claus is the other name for St. Nicholas who died on December  6, 343. Till this day, Christians celebrate him as Father Christmas. He was a wonderful saint who gave his all to make people, especially children happy.

Christians celebrate December as the birth month of Jesus Christ. First Lady Aisha, Buharideens and Buharists also make merry in December, the month of Buhari’s birth as well as the month of his coup.

During his military dictatorship, Maj. Gen. Buhari, smiled a little. The face of that regime, Babatunde Idiagbon, rarely wore a smile on his face. As far as the latter was concerned there was nothing to smile about.

President Buhari should know that quite like Idiagbon, millions of Nigerians are not smiling today because hunger, insecurity and wickedness in high places have taken over their cheer mood.

Some of those who claim to know Buhari so well, say he is a good jester. I wonder why we have not seen that part of him. Instead, there is a pseudo Buhari, one Malam Tagwai, who is smiling to the bank mimicking Mr. President while the real Buhari continues to hoard his humour.

Imagine President Buhari turning out tomorrow in the red and white regalia of Santa Claus to receive children in Aso Villa. We may even expect him to make a Christmas speech from there.

Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby is Buhari’s friend. It will be real fun to have him around. Mr. President has worshipped with Pastor Enoch Adeboye of the Redeemed Church. He has had support from Pastor William Kumuyi of the Deeper Life Bible church.

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Vice President Yemi Osinbajo is a pastor. Media aide, Femi Adesina, is a pastor of the Four Square Gospel Church. There is no reason some guests cannot eat four square meals this Christmas around the Presidential Villa.

In the President Olusegun Obasanjo years, we saw him dress in turban to felicitate with Vice President Atiku Abubakar during muslim festivals. I saw Obasanjo wearing shots and playing with kids in an Abuja recreation ground. One child even called him Obasanjo and he laughed it off.

We were told that OBJ was stingy. Ace comedian, Ali Baba Akpobome, even told him to his face that he was ‘aka gum.’ That was how Obasanjo changed gear and started turning out millionaires.

Obasanjo made comedians superstars with mega bucks. He gave civil servants hope and turned erstwhile beggarly professors to ‘tear rubber’ car owners.

No one says Buhari is stingy. He is said not to give at all. And they say God loves cheerful givers. If the president has shut our borders, he should open his wallet. Haba! His children are hungry.

This year, Buhari must turn Father Christmas. Madam Aisha should go to the kitchen. Our people are in famished. And there is so much to celebrate. President Buhari is 77, and super rich. From his salary and allowance, we can organize a befitting party.

I am not speaking French. The way banks and state governments are taxing Nigerians under Buhari, many may just end up as street beggars. A time is coming when you will have to pay tax for waking up in the morning.

It is also possible that soon and very soon, some governors will place tax on the dead. For just departing this planet, the dead will show evidence of ever being alive.

President Buhari can put smiles on some faces. Let him start it this year. We have heard of Udoji Award. That happened under Gen. Yakubu Gowon. Then this country had enough money to even buy up the whole of West Africa.

Nigeria is financially diabetic yet we want to take in the whole of Africa as from January 2020.We cannot open our shut frontiers for all to enter. Even the Americans are building walls.

As from Monday December 23, I want President Buhari to offer Nigerians free transportation by road from Abuja to Lagos, Benin and Owerri. These three towns are in the South-West, South-South and South-East respectively.

He should also do the same to Nigerians, from Lagos to Ore, Aba and Calabar respectively. The essence is not to accommodate all passengers but to show concern.

The buses to do this are available. Let the masses also benefit from this country for once. All the Chisco, ABC, Young Shall Grow, God is Good, Agofure, ATM,AKTS, ITC and Edegbe buses are waiting for order to commence operations. They want all military road blocks dismantled and turned to patrols.

This is doable. State governments are doing it. They have been doing it. Anyone who says it will not work should be arrested for hate speech. And I know the lioness who can coordinate this.

The First Lady knows where the shoe pinches. While the Humanitarian Affairs minister continues to face North, let Madam Aisha face South. She is capable and this will go a long way.

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President Buhari’s military school mate and buddy, Juventus Ojukwu, has told the world that Buhari was a marathoner. I can see that. I am sure he knows that even the Olympic Marathon ends in jubilation when a winner emerges.

Nigerians are done with this marathon hunger. We need medals in form of welfare from Aso Villa. President Buhari should change his danshiki and dress like Santa Claus.

Vanguard