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Would you steal from your husband?

By Bunmi Sofola

Ego walked into her matrimonial home and stood gob-smacked as she watched her husband, Kayode, knee-deep in plastic packaging and out emerged a spanking new car stereo. He’d just bought himself a tokunbo car they could ill-afford. “What do you think?”, he beamed with pride, ignoring the scowl on his wife’s face.

steal

“I felt like smashing the stereo across the living room walls”, Ego confessed. “I stormed into the bedroom in frustration. The kids school fees had just been paid but they needed new books, uniforms and shoes. Kayode told me bluntly he’d done his bit by paying their fees, that I should buy the other `trivial’ items. Put together, the cost of these so-called trivial items could just equal the fees he paid. He works as an assistant manager of a bank for goodness sake!  I work in an independent radio station and there are times we are lucky to get paid on time.

“Kayode works hard an deserves to enjoy his money, but with three growing kids to cater for, expensive car stereo is pushing out his luck a bit.  The house is full of other flashy gadgets he’d treated himself to over the years – his DVD player, endless CDs and expensive clothes that are must-haves for his job. But whenever I wanted something for the kids – a treat at the fast-food joints, sweets or even school trips – Mr. Cheapskate always had an excuse ready:  `It’s been a bad month … the car needs a new battery …

“He’d given the kids silly cash gifts that wouldn’t stretch to the things they wanted and birthday gifts are from what I always scrimp to save. Before his new spending spree, I’d told him that our eldest son had grown out of his trainers and his younger sister was rebelling at having to wear her brother’s cast-off-shirts.

“I was still fuming and almost in tears when I spotted his fancy briefcase with its combination lock on the bed.  I flicked it open, expecting it to be firmly locked as usual when it sprang open. To this day, I don’t know why I quickly riffled through the briefcase until I came to a wad of Naira notes of different denominations in a budging large envelope.  Furtively, I extracted some N500 notes then, after writing down the opened briefcase’s numbers, bolted to the toilet with my handbag. I stayed in the toilet until I heard him go into our bedroom. I quickly rushed to the kitchen pretending to prepare dinner.

Warning your teenage daughters about rapists!(Opens in a new browser tab)

“When he came to the kitchen and gave me a loving peck, I blazed with guilt but when I saw my daughter in her hand-me-down T-shirt, I knew my priorities. If Kayode didn’t care about his children’s welfare, then I’d have to take the law into my hands. A few days later, I bought my son his trainers and modern T-shirts for my girls. They were overjoyed. Kayode was impressed when I told him my younger sister, who is a trader at the Idumota market, got them cheap for the kids.

“And that’s how it started.  Once I had the combination numbers to the briefcase, it was like open sesame!  A few notes here, a few there and the kids go treats ranging from savoury pies, decent clothes to ice cream.  Once, when he even hung out one of his expensive guinea brocade agbada suit to dry, I made sure it was stained at conspicuous places. He was livid but nobody could tell how the stains got there as the washer-man that he employs who comes in occasionally to do his laundry, swore he didn’t know how the stains suddenly emerged. I knew he would never be caught dead in clothings less than impeccable, so I took the three-piece agbada to our tailor and got three lovely clothes out of them for the children.  I still helped myself go goodies from his briefcase until the day he came to the breakfast table peering into his briefcase and looking suspicious.  `Have you seen Martin (our son) with any money?’, he asked.  `No’, I bristled. `What are you trying to insinuate?’ Of course, I understood only too well what he suspected – he thought Martin had been stealing his money!  I was really shaken by the accusation, how could I let my son take the rap for my crime?

“But I did try again only to find the combination to the lock of his briefcase changed! So I looked elsewhere for ready cash – selling off some of the fancy gadgets he’d bought over the years and which he never used. Once in a while, I looked through his clothes pockets, but the cash isn’t as good as when I had access to his briefcase. I intend to find out the briefcase’s new numbers because my children deserve treats. If Kayode wasn’t so stingy, I wouldn’t have to steal. He’ll support the family,whether he likes it or not!”

 

Want to improve your love life?  (Fantasise!)

Fantasy is supposed to be a wonderful way to improve sexual arousal. Your mind can take you to wonderful places with endless erotic possibilities. Both men and women can benefit from wild fantasy during sex. Those who’ve never tried it are missing out. Here are a few professional tips on fantasy:

Story Lines:  Fantasies are limited only by the imagination. The variety of erotic storylines is almost endless. Many have fantasies that give them pleasure through lie, while others change their fantasies regularly and incorporate real-life events and people they have met.

Fantasies often get their power from their extreme content. They contain images the individual would never want to experience in real life and the thought conjure up feelings of guilt or fear. This charge of emotion gets transformed into powerful sexual excitement.

Men vs Women: Research suggests half of women fantasise while making love to their husband and most are dreaming about sex with another man. And men are the same – often thinking of other women. But this should not be a source of guilt or seen as infidelity. Remember, fantasy is only in the mind.

Inspiration: People fuel their fantasy from a variety of sources. They may get their images from pornography, from reading erotic literature or from daydreaming about a man they met on the bus. The amount you fantasize isn’t an indicator of how good or bad your sex life is. In fact, people with healthy sex lives have been known to fantasize more because they are inspired by their lover.

Feeling it for real:  Fantasy is amazing and it’s well worth exploring the sex life in your head. You can even go further and try to act out a fantasy with a lover, it’s a great way to spice up your sex life but try not to be too disappointed if reality falls short of your daydreams.

 

 

 

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