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Would you have an affair to save your marriage?

Why is it that incidents that are totally unplanned, become the most memorable?  Some weeks back, a friend marked a landmark birthday and decided to push out the boat.  She resides outside Lagos but had booked all the rooms in a posh hotel in the city she decided to have the bash in. Quite a handful of us went from Lagos. It was the first time in many years that I went out of Lagos to any of the states. Thanks to Joy, a good friend who had virtually bundled me into a very comfortable jeep, I found myself looking forward to the trip.


When we arrived the hotel, it was as if a bit of Lagos had been brought down to it as we excitedly exchanged banters with familiar guests. At the party; I was mildly surprised to see Florence, an acquaintance who’d always had her husband with her at most functions. She’d watched her husband climb the ladder at the engineering firm he worked for, and they have a good home and three lovely kids to show for almost 16 years marriage.

“But that special zing I once had when he put his arms around me has virtually disappeared”, she’d told me a few months ago.  “Only my husband seems to be under the impression that the old magic is there. I’ve chided myself I have to be grateful for what I’ve got, but whenever he noisily eats his food and guzzles his way through his favourite booze, revulsion simmers. Even when we make love, I have to imagine he is someone younger and slimmer …”

I told her she had to get a grip on her emotions. It’s not all the time you feel happy with what you have but there’s a limit to how you let resentment eat into a good relationship. When I saw her later at the birthday party, she happily found her way to the table I was.  It was a table packed with both male and female guests with an array of well-chilled drinks, champagne inclusive. Florence really let herself go as she downed glass after glass of champagne. Eric, a rogue friend who was a real ladies’ man continued to flirt with her and ply her with compliments. She lapped it all up. As guests started leaving, I told Joy and Florence we should leave too.

Florence sat next to me in the car and showed me a hotel room key.  “You should have left that at the reception”, I told her. “What if you lose it”, “It’s not my key”, she whispered into my ears.  “It’s the key to Eric’s room”. My eyes widened.  So soon?  “He wants me to go and wait for him in his room”, she continued excitedly.  “He said I should forget I’m a married woman and think of myself as a desirable woman”. I kept my trap shut.  When things build up to the room stage, there’s absolutely nothing you can do to stop it.  We all stepped into the lift, pressed different buttons and Joy and I left when the lift stopped on our floor.

Back to our room, Joy and I agreed Florence needed a breather – the quickie could save her marriage or break it. We all checked out right and early the next morning.  Florence had come with the air-conditioned luxury bus provided by the celebrant but she was now at the parking lot, with Eric heaving their suitcases into the boot of his car.  As they drove off after we’d exchanged pleasantries, Florence peeked through the tinted glass window of Eric’s jeep and blew me a kiss!

I wanted to call her as soon as I got home, but what would that make me – a Nosey Parker!  I didn’t hear from Florence until a few weeks later. It was at another private party and she was with her husband, this time. She tore herself away as soon as she decently could to let me know “Eric is a wonderful man!” “Really?” Without too much prompting, she filled me in on what happened at Eric’s hotel room that fateful night. “As soon as he came in, he told me to forget about my husband, she said, ‘then almost immediately, we were in a clinch. All that booze and pent up frustration from unfulfilled sex made me putty in his hands. He gently pushed me down on the bed and my world exploded as he made love to me. Wow! I discovered new things about my body as he kissed me in places I wanted to be kissed and showed me how to do things he would like to him. It was the most therapeutic fling I’ve had in years.  I was on cloud nine!

“Can you imagine that he even thanked me for making his weekend?  By the next morning though, the niggle of guilt began to bite.  When I got home, my husband was still asleep. His snores rumbled through the room but this time I wasn’t irritated.  I might have felt guilty at having so much fun, but I didn’t regret a thing.  My experience with Eric felt too good for regret. And when my husband next made love to me, I put all the things I’d learnt from Eric into practice. He couldn’t believe his luck.  “Wow”, he shouted as we made love again and again, “” Thanks to Eric, I have the memory of a good love session to guide me in my lovemaking with my husband. This has given my confidence and sex life a boost and I’m sure it’ll help in keeping my marriage alive. Eric called a few times but he was enough of a gentleman to realise his services wouldn’t be needed and we now have friendly chats on the phone.


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