AS LEMU holds workshop on “happy marriage”
Lekki Muslim Ummah (LEMU) has called for healthy marriage in Muslim homes to stem the tide of spousal abuse in the society, just as Islamic scholars decried spousal scarcity is real and should be dealt in the way Allah and His Messenger prescribed for Muslims.
At its Quarterly Da’wah Workshop themed ‘towards a happy Marriage’ Muslim clerics dissected causes of marital abuse and shared thoughts on how Muslims can achieve happiness in their matrimonial homes.
Singles and married couples at the seminar were admonished on how a successful marriage can be achieved.
Speaking at the occasion, the Executive Director, Jaiz Bank, Ustaz AbdulFattah Amoo said spousal scarcity is real and has to be dealt in the way Allah and His Messenger have prescribed for Muslims.
“Muslims who truly believe in Allah and the last day cannot cut corners, whereas some other people can satisfy their needs in a sinful manner,
He mentioned factors responsible for spousal scarcity as fornication, socio-economic issues, Issues of compatibility concerns, misplacement of priorities, financial difficulties (high rate of unemployment/under-employment), parent’s biases and marriage to non-Muslims
To end spousal scarcity, he suggested that Muslim community should consciously create platforms that provide halal forums, which will facilitate the meeting of prospective couples, avoid stereotypes as much as possible and embrace polygyny as a practical and credible option provided by Allah.
The Chief Imam of LEMU, Shaykh Ridwan Jamiu, during his presentation on ‘Sustaining love in your marriage’ described love as the foundation of marriage, adding that hatred makes a relationship to dilapidate.
“Love draws lover to each other, while hate distances couple from one another by becoming estranged, ending up in divorce or separation”.
He noted that problems arise when the objectives of marriage are not met in a relationship. “Unmet expectations are often a challenge in marriage. Allah refers to marriage as a challenging commitment; couple must therefore be prepared for adjustment and a problem-solving mentality.
“Couples must learn to live life as it comes without undue comparison. That is how to engender love and sanity in marriage’.
He added that, option of separation could be considered only when all efforts to salvage a relationship have been exhausted. “Couples are meant to be friends and partners. Friendship and partnership require humility, cooperation not competition except in winning Allah’s love and in righteousness, generosity, forgiveness, and trust. “Leadership in marriage belongs to the husband. Leadership in the family belongs to both parents.
Imam Nojeem Jimoh, in his own submission said a pious Muslim is not ticket to a happy marriage because all marriage comes with their challenges. ‘Most marriages become unsuccessful due to how they were managed. Accepting the challenges of marriage will shape couples into a better Muslim parent and role model
The Director, Office of Public Defender, Lagos State Ministry of Justice, Alhaja Mariam Adeyemi, said many marital difficulties are caused by control and rule stratagem.
“A shift in this attitude of gender equality as human beings causes an imbalance in marital relationships leading to dysfunctional marriages. Whenever one party considers that they are superior or above the law there is a power shift which may subsequently lead to misuse or abuse of that power. As a result, the less valuable partner is seen as an easy prey
She noted that domestic violence is a deliberate act of the perpetrator against the victims, adding that separation in marriage as a result of domestic violence also affects the children.
She advised couples with cases of extreme violence to leave the home and see seek help immediately.
She urged religious organization to establish shelters for protective custody of survivors. Noting that there is no single Islamic rehabilitation home in Lagos. “We need to establish Muslim orphanages and shelters where we can promote Islamic doctrines,” she said.