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Do men make their partners fake it!?

I only feel like having sex about the middle of the month.  Am I odd?”  read one of the thousands of letters I often receive as an agony columnist.  The letter continues: “I also have a sexy partner with whom I live. We have a lovely son, but the day I don’t feel particularly sexy, I fake having an orgasm.  My partner is none the wiser but I read somewhere that one should never fake an orgasm. Do you agree?”

It goes without saying that men are inherently much more animalistic than women.  If a man is in a semi-conscious sleeping state and you mention anything remotely sexual, he’ll be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed within seconds!  Let’s face it, women are not always in the mood but they generally don’t want to disappoint.  Sometimes, women have sex because they want to be intimate not because they want to get laid. The fact that they’re not aroused as they’d normally be means reaching orgasm will be more of an uphill battle than a joyful romp. When they’re not horny, they’re not horny. Simple.  Like June, a 32-year-old married mother recently put it: “It’s a sort of `slap on the condom and get on with it!’”. She continues:  “I’ve since learnt that rather than face an orgasm, just get stuck in and don’t stress about it!  Sex is like a bowl of hot pepper-soup – when it’s good, it’s good and when it’s not, it’s pretty manageable!  So if you’re not in the mood, turn your frown upside-down and enjoy the moment.”

Can I learn to live with his philandering?

Believe it or not, most women are pretty considerate of men’s feelings. Whether you’re in a new relationship and getting to know each other’s erogenous zones, or in a long-term relationship. We know they try! Women have come to terms with the fact that they may never reach orgasm through penetrative sex, but a lot of men simply cannot accept it. “We don’t want men to feel they’re no good at this”, June confessed.  “They are, they’re great!  It’s not the men, it is the women!  Well maybe it’s a little bit men …

“So, faking an orgasm is, in fact, a kind of gesture that says the earth did not move but the sec was good regardless”.  Sometimes though, honesty should be the best policy and ego shouldn’t come into play, so a little more talking and a little less worrying could do you and your partner a world of good.  Think about it, women don’t fake orgasms out of malice, but they should probably do themselves a big favour and avoid faking the big O ever again.  And you want to know how?  Just talk to your partner. It doesn’t matter if it’s been two weekly or two years, communication can be the key to a guaranteed orgasm. And who’s going to say no to that!?”

Zack, a film editor confessed he’s had a lot of good sex than he’s had hot dinners!  “Who cares whether your partner fakes orgasm when you’re in the throes of passion?”, he wondered.  “The thing is sex is as much about the brain as the body and because a woman is less likely to climax than a man, for a variety of reasons, a lot of women just admit defeat when it comes to enjoying a happy ending and fake the final rush to the finish line. Of course, it is highly unlikely that a man will fake an orgasm. I mean, let’s fact it, when a man crosses the line where are obvious indications, but most women don’t display such obvious signs – at least not once that can require change of bedding

”It’s true that feigning pleasure seldom helps either party, but I can completely understand why women do it. Some are too shy to ask for more foreplay for instance. This particularly applies to those in new relationships and it all boils down to three things: commitment, communication and compromise.  The more committed you are, the more comfortable you’ll feel about discussing what pushes your buttons.”

Which boils down to the fact that the more you talk, the more you’ll find out what really gets each other going, so take the time to experiment and you’ll so9on start to discover your lies and dislikes in the bedroom More advice?  “If you want to guarantee a return on sexual investment, I does no hard to get the sex toys out to help you along!”, advises Zack.  “Not only does this make sex a whole lot more exciting and different, but climaxes will be a certainty and going to sleep with a smile on your face will be a definite!””

 

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