By Pastor Okokon Ating

So many people may not have the charisma or grace to settle with themselves when there is a case, not to talk of settling with oth-ers. There are many peo-ple who are so good in keeping silence with their partners or keeping malice with each other, some of them will say “Even if my dead mother rises from death, I will not talk to him/her”, some will say “till Jes-us comes”, all this attitude destroys marriages.

When there is conflict in marriage, there is also the need for dialogue which may bring solution for peaceful co-existence. The solution given here may not be the total stra-tegies for resolution in marital conflicts. It knows no bound; there are other strategies each person may adopt especially when it comes to the case of cultural, customary or inter-tribal marriages. Take note of the following ways:

Make sure you must have waited on God for whom you should marry till death do you part.

Make sure you marry a person after your heart, that is, the person you love genuinely.

Make sure you marry a contemporary person. That is, age-wise, in educ-ational level, social status, political ideas, religious status or faith, financial level and/or ideological scope.

Make sure you marry a person that has medical metabolism or compound balance with you.

Make sure you marry a person of same faith and beliefs, if possible, a person who would imbibe your culture as his/her own, (Remember Ruth in the Bible).

Make sure you marry a person who would not indoctrinate your children against you.

Make sure you marry a person who would give you rest of mind all your life.

Try to avoid child marriage which could cause you to abuse yourselves or bring insult to your parent on daily basis.

All marriages need prayers therefore don’t fail to pray for your marriages on daily basis. Don’t assume or think that he or she is Mr or Mrs Right or an Angel.

Avoid temporal and char-acter traits which will cau-se shipwreck in your marr-iage. Avoid many friends and mate syndromes.

Guard against the time of misunderstanding bet-ween you and your spou-se, not to escalate and re-sult to a state of anarchy in your home and marria-ge.

Keep on cherishing one another as the marriage keeps going, make sure every crisis is settled quickly and on time.

Avoid the third-party syn-drome if necessary, learn to forgive and forget one another’s fault at all cost.

In case any weakness is discovered in one anoth-er, endure while you try to make sure that your spou-se improves.

It may not be easy for one to proffer solution to all marital conflicts but there is this fact that, the more you study your partner in marriage, the more you un-derstand each other.

“If any of you lacks wis-dom, let him ask of God

Who gives to all liberally and without reproach. And it will be given to him”

In essence, pray for God’s wisdom which will help you to deal wisely in handling matters.