KOLAPO who is a very close relative, is not your usual run-of-the mill .bum. A brilliant mechanical engineer, he has a well paid job and, until recently, didn’t give a boot about putting down roots. By age 38, he’d had more relationships than he’d had clean clothes and most of them with women a reputable professional wouldn’t be seen dead with. As soon as he realized he felt comfortable in a woman’s company, old or young, he would simply move in with her and stick around for as long as the ride lasted. So, when he met Rose, a middle-aged, pretty and adventurous canteen owner, he left his flat in care of his two siblings and moved into her cramped two-room apartment. She was too happy to look after his needs!
When I eventually traced him to the place, he didn’t look perturbed. Several years later, he is married and said of his older lover; “Was I in love with her?” he asked in retrospect. “Well, let’s just put it this way, whenever I am having a good relationship, I am in love. Or in lust – call it whatever you like. I always find all my relationships interesting.
“Once a relationship became a drag, I moved on. And I am sure most of my lovers wouldn’t say derogatory things about me or the good times I gave them. I am not a stingy person and there would always be nice things around them to remember me by when the relationship eventually hit the skids!
“Now, to Rose, like I told you when you called to stick your nose in, she was pretty and intelligent and a good cook to boot. I had been with her for about a year when her 24 year old daughter came to spend the long vacation with her – she was in her final year at the university and had always lived with her dad. If her mother was pretty, she was stunning. But I never gave taking her to bed a thought. Afterall, I was her mother’s lover and thoughts like that would almost be incestuous.
“It was refreshing talking to her though, she was very intelligent and brilliant. I found her different from the dumb women I seemed to prefer. I started looking forward to our regular everyday banter and she used to tease me a lot that I was a non-good gigolo. I reminded her that I more than paid for my keep and was better than some of the tightarsed men that were always hanging around her.
“One fateful afternoon, Rose had gone to the market and Ify, that is her name, was being her mischievous self, teasing and flirting harmlessly with me. I pretended I was going to twist her arm but in the process grabbed her boobs! Subconsciously, I must have been dying to do that – or how else would I explain the electric shock that went through me! In fairness to her, she was well-stacked and dressed to flaunt her assets!
Ify arched her brows, looking mildly amused. That infuriated me and I grabbed her, kissing her brutally, 1 was amazed at her response and, before 1 knew it, I was making love to her on her mother’s bed! The love- making was amazing! Mind you, I am not comparing love-making with Rose to that with Ify, but this was definitely different. For the first time, I recognized the meaning of love-making as different to having sex. It was quite intoxicating and I felt drunk with happiness. Her flesh was firm, her perfume exotic and her love-making, mind-blowing!
“I was in a mess, of course, sleeping with mother and daughter under the same roof. But 1 had tasted heaven in Ify’s young luscious body and wasn’t ready to give that up. For the first time in my life, I was hooked. 1 started giving settling down a serious thought. Ify was graduating that year and she was all the woman I had been mentally hoping for. She confessed she would hurt her mother by snatching her lover under her roof! We toyed with the idea of her getting pregnant but she refused to hurt the mother she loved so much.
“To this day, Ify and I don’t really know if Rose suspected we were sleeping together. But she called me to her bedroom a few weeks before Ify went back to her father’s and told me she would love me to marry her daughter. She said she noticed we both got along well and since there was no chance of both of us ever getting married, why didn’t I marry Ify, seeing 1 wasn’t getting younger? 1 had a good job, she went on, and she would really love to have me as a son-in-law! That was rich. 1 thought snidely, from lover to son-in-law. Anyway, I told her I would think about it. Secretly, I felt elated that my dream was coming true. She said I shouldn’t worry about Ify – she would convince her to go for the idea. The woman was simply amazing!
“After she told me Ify wasn’t aversed to the thought of marriage to me, I moved out of Rose’s flat and Ify moved in with me. Later, I asked Rose if she felt betrayed by it all but she assured me she would rather have her daughter marry an eligible man than for her to continue in a relationship that was doomed from the start. How more realistic can you get? That was some few years ago. Ify and I got married as soon as she graduated and we have two lovely boys – the third child is on the way. Rose always comes to stay whenever a new child arrives and leaves as soon as Ify is strong enough to cope. I am a happy and fulfilled man and love my kids with a passion.
“Do I still sleep with Rose? Well, wouldn’t you want to know you snoopy woman? Let me just admit I’m looking forward to the birth of our third child when Rose would come to give her usual helping hand. Afterall, the devil you know is always better. What’s more, 1 usually make Rose’s visits worth her while. I give her more than enough money to stock her shop and pay for whatever she buys here. No, I still won’t tell you whether or not I still sleep with Rose – or would you want to beat the answer out of me?” Well, wouldn’t I just!