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I need to break off with this old lover

Dear Bunmi,

I met my boyfriend when I was 15 and we’ve been together for five years. The problem is, we’re always arguing but I know we love each other. Unfortunately, I’ve started sleeping with a married friend of my uncle.

He’s much older than I am and I don’t know how it happened or why I’m doing it. He gives me a lot of gifts and money but I don’t love him at all. All I know is

that if his wife, my uncle or my boyfriend finds out about this relationship, there will be a lot of trouble. How do I get out?

Lape, by e-mail.


Dear Lape,

You’ll have to be strong and tell your lover the affair is over. Don’t blame yourself too much – he’s behaving badly and you are clearly vulnerable.

Arguments are always up-setting and although you and your boyfriend love each other, there are pressures upon you – especially from this dirty old man who thinks he

can buy your affection with money.

Very few relationships begun at 15 stand the test of time – people change as they grow up.

If there’s someone you can talk to, then ask for their support in making your

relationship work.


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