Frank & Fair

August 19, 2017

Men everywhere, no husbands for the girls  

Men everywhere, no husbands for the girls  


By Dr. Ugoji Egbujo

Everywhere you look, you see beautiful ladies languishing. They could have moved on. But our puritanical society hates single mothers and despises unmarried women.


The chickens have come home to roost.

Parents spent time grooming perishable girls. Everywhere is awash with marriageable girls. The boys were awarded freedom. They hopped from self indulgence to indolence and came out insolent children. Many of the boys turned out, chaff. Nothing.

I mourn for the girls.

Some of them, out of desperation, took whatever came their way. Ouch! They were told it was naive to insist on their wants. Their standards, they were told, were too high. So they started with compromises in search of convenience. And ended in the gnashing of teeth. They were told they will mould the half baked men. They were told to ignore the obvious shortcomings.

And they danced into hell, with their eyes open.

Some stayed and lived, coped, in their hell. Some stayed and miracles happened. Their boys, chaffs, turned to real men. Miracles happen. But most stayed, and spent days and years wishing their life clocks could be reset. Wishing they could go back to their childhood. Life   that had started so beautifully. Then fate dealt them a terrible card.


If the society has left boys to grow like weeds, the society should let girls be. If the society has no men, the society should dismantle the institution of marriage.

They say good wives are hard to find. It’s a lie. There are fairly good wives everywhere. We measure women with one moral stick and measure men with another. There are well groomed ladies everywhere. The real men are nowhere.

The few real, good, men don’t circulate well. Contemporary city life is hectic. My late pastor came to it late. He hated singles this and singles that. One day he asked for prayer points. 70% of the young church needed some matchmaking. So he started publishing portraits of ready ladies in the church bulletin.

The problem is real. Every extended family is afflicted. Polygamy can be a temporary solution.

But polygamy has its long term problems. Cultural preference for male children and the arrival of low birth rates will make women scarce in the next 50-100 years. If men are starved of mates, violence will engulf the society. So polygamy is not a cure.

Let’s groom the boys well.