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Is he confused about dumping me?

Dear Bunmi,
I’m 240 and working with a pharmaceutical company as a marketing executive.

My boyfriend of two years finished with me at the end of last year. I’ve tried everything, from letting everyone know how upset I am, to pretending everything is fine, but, I still can’t understand what went wrong.

A week before the break-up, I’d been away on business and he phoned me every night because he said he was missing me. But, when I came back, he acted
very strangely and said he didn’t know what he wanted.

Since the break-up, we’ve had an on and off relationship. Then, my company sent me away again, and the night before I left, he begged that we should get engaged.

He phoned again throughout and was his loving self. When I got back home, he broke up the relationship and I’m now baffled as to what he really wants and all our friends thought we were perfect together.

Chinyere, by e-mail.

Dear Chinyere,
People can fall out of love without anyone having done anything wrong. But when feelings change, they often try to convince themselves that nothing’s different and may even go out of their way to declare undying love.

I have a feeling your ex has been off the relationship for sometime. His mistake is to keep the affair going when he should have made a clean break. Only, when a relationship is dead, there is no way you can bring it back to life.

Accept the fact that it was good while it lasted and move on. In time, you will be able to find a man you could fall in love with.


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