By Dele Sobowale

“The Ministers are there to make a lot of noise; for the politicians to make a lot of noise…People from different constituencies want to see their people directly in government, and see what they can get out of it.”—President Muhammadu Buhari.

That article was published in September last year; the Ministers were appointed in October, late October last year. In no particular order, below is the list of the men and women who, for one year, had been piloting the ship of our state – Federal Republic of Nigeria. I have also deliberately left out the portfolios they hold – for one simple reason.

If you don’t know what he/she does for us, that is all the appraisal you need. Again, without mentioning names, it was an unpleasant surprise for a media practitioner like me, who reads up to six or seven papers a day, to discover that half of those names were unknown.  But, first, read the list.

Abdulrahman Dambazau, Abubakar Malami, Suleiman Hussain Adamu, Hadi Sirika, Lai Mohammed, Solomon Dalong, Audu Ogbeh, Ibrahim Usman Jibril, Aisha Alhassan, Amina Mohammed, Babatunde Fashola, Kayode Fayemi, Kemi Adeosun, Adebayo Shittu, Rotimi Amaechi, Udoma Udo Udoma,  Emmanuel Ibe Kachikwu, Osagie Ehanire, Chris Ngige, Ogbonaya Onu, Brigadier General Muhammadu Mansur Dan-Ali rtd, Zainab Shamsuna Ahmed, Aisha Abubakar, James E Ocholi, Abubakar Bawa, Khadija Bukar Abba Ibrahim, and Mustapha Baba Shehuri.

Don’t let it bother you if you can’t identify more than half of them. That demonstrates how much impact they have made with one year in office. Worse still, it is a pointer to how wasteful it will be to retain them for another year; not to talk of until 2019. In fact it would have been a lot better if they made noise. But, a bunch of dead souls in any cemetery would make more noise than this lot.

From the looks of things, many of them don’t even know why they are there and what they are supposed to do. One thing is certain. There is no distinction anywhere; only varying degrees of failures. Even, those who appeared as the brightest and best at first appear overwhelmed.

At least one bright fellow, paying the penalty for previous exceptional performance, as state Governor, is in mortal danger of having his reputation ruined by being appointed as one of the Ministers. Unfortunately for this much admired man, politics is the greatest show on earth.

It beats Hollywood, Nollywood or whatever. And, as the saying goes in Hollywood, “you are only as good as your last show”. Eight previous years of excellent service is being silently washed down the drain as he proceeds into the second year…

Those with good track records to protect must undoubtedly be suffering the most anguish over the fact that they have little to show in their first year in office. There cannot be more than three. Those plucked from relative obscurity or promoted far above their level competence to Minister over the most sensitive organs of government would not suffer such misgivings. A fool does not know he is stupid; only others watching him perform can form such judgments.

The frontline Ministries, it is generally agreed are: Finance, Education, Petroleum, Justice, Works, Power, Agriculture, Internal Affairs, Communications and Defence . The others are padded on – just to find jobs for more noisemakers. How about Information you are probably asking? The answer is simple. Nigeria last had an Information Ministry when the British ruled us.

Thereafter, what we have had is an established Propaganda Unit serving any government in power. Only Buhari can assess that one; and he will base his judgment on whether it has served his own purposes – not ours….

A RASH OF NEW ASIWAJUS IN YORUBALAND

“What does corrupting time not diminish? Horace, 65-8BC.

(VANGUARD BOOK OF QUOTATIONS, VBQ, p 247).

Once upon a time in Yorubaland, traditional rulers fed fat on giving the title OTUNBA to the highest bidder. And for a while, there was hardly a week when a new Otunba was not celebrated – until every idiot was an Otunba. Then it lost its value. Today hardly anybody wants to be called Otunba. After that, late Chief M.K.O.  Abiola was made Bashorun of Ibadan. It was time for other traditional rulers to appoint their own Bashoruns – until every idiot was a Bashorun. Then it lost its value.

The devaluation of the title, ASIWAJU, had taken a longer time to occur and it could not have come at a worse time for one of them. The first and only Asiwaju of Yorubaland was late Chief Obafemi Awolowo. It was a titled conferred on him by a late Oni of Ife. And until his death, no traditional ruler awarded that title to anyone. It was dormant until Governor Bola Tinubu became Asiwaju and for years, there was no contest. All over Nigeria, indeed the world, Asiwaju was synonymous with Bola Tinubu.

Everything has changed since Saturday, October 22, 2016. I opened two of my favorite newspapers and there were two faces smiling at me with the title ASIWAJU – one from Ilesha; the other from Ikere Ekiti. I smiled back and shook my head. Another opportunity for money-making by Yoruba traditional rulers has presented itself.

Mark my words. By this time next year there will be more than two dozen Asiwajus; and in five years time, those bearing the title today will be too happy to discard it – once every idiot is brandishing it.