By Morenike Taire

THE rite of mourning the demise of a husband in Nigeria has for a very long time been taken to the extreme by the relatives of the dearly departed either because they have plans of punishing the grieving widow or for other reasons best known to themselves.

Cons

Confinement: During the period of mourning, the woman is restricted to her room. She is not allowed to cook or do any chores she would normally do.

Defacement: The belief of Nigerian cultures states that a woman’s hair should be shaved during the period of mourning.

Disinheritance: The woman is believed not to have any right to her husbands properties at his passing. She may even get thrown out of the house by her in- laws.

Mourning period: Within this period, the woman is expected to cry at the top of her lungs so people will know she is in mourning. Some cultures even go as far as asking her to sleep in the same room with the corps or drink the water used in bathing her husband. Lest she is accused of being the one who killed him.

Ritual cleansing: This happens particularly in the rural areas. The woman is taken to the stream to bath. Her clothes are burnt and she is made to walk naked home.

Dethronement: The woman is made to sit on the floor while mourning as a sign to show that her status has fallen.

Ostracism: They are shunned by polite society through no fault of their own.

Pros

Maintenance allowance and residence: The husband is encouraged to make provision for his wife even at the time of his passing. This can be done through writing a will.

Ownership of properties: Widows now have the right  to hold onto properties that are  in their names at the time of their husbands passing.

Equitable share in inheritance of the property of her husband: Gone are those days when a widow cannot contest for an equal right in the inheritance of her husband’s property.

Elimination of prejudices and customary practices: Customary practices that have been used to bring shame, debasement and embarrassment to widows are being eliminated.