By Francis Ewherido

It is another season of Mother’s Day. Some have celebrated Mother’s Day; others are celebrating tomorrow and some others in the weeks to come. I say Happy Mother’s Day to all Mothers.

Today, as always, we remember your love, your sacrifices, your toils and your pains. We cannot repay you for all you have done and gone through for us, but we honour you, we celebrate you and thank God for your gift.

Mothers are the foundation of most stable families and stable families are the foundation of a stable society. That is partly why women are called nation builders. Consequently, our mothers have enormous tasks at hand. Currently Nigeria is grappling with a myriad of problems, 99.9 per cent self-inflicted. We have leadership challenges and I have always believed that it starts from the home. Many of our leaders had defective upbringing. They never outgrew these defects and today, we are all bearing the brunt of their defective moral foundations.

Many armed robbers, after being arrested, regale us with stories of coming from broken homes, losing their mothers at an early age, running away from home as early as age 11 and being maltreated by step-mothers. So, social deviants also have defective upbringing.

Today, many Nigerians are wanting in either character or learning or both. They are there in government, civil service and private offices; some are doctors, nurses, mechanics, drivers, traders, artisans, business moguls and trained professionals. While environmental factors no doubt contributed, many of them have very poor moral backgrounds. This goes beyond having a good mother (or parents); the mother (parents) must impart good morals in the children, especially in the early stages.

But what makes our current situation scary is that our women have been sucked into the cesspit of societal degeneration. A friend’s wife was hospitalized at a federal medical facility. He was told to deposit some money, but he did not have cash and it was in the night. He asked for their POS to enable him pay with his debit card and got a rude shock: “We no dey use POS here. Our madam (medical director) dey retire soon and she dey find money.” Just in case you do not understand, the woman is retiring soon and wants to cart away as much of our commonwealth as possible and the cash floating within the system is easier to steal than the ones in the bank; internal records are easier to doctor or destroy. Isn’t it repulsive that such a federal institution does not have POS at a time even petty traders have POS, just because somebody wants to steal money with ease? By the way what happened to the Treasury Single Account (TSA)? Are federal hospitals excluded?

When I hear such stories, I really get depressed. If the nation builders, in a nation in dire need of building, have joined the men in destroying the nation, as we have seen in stories flying around, then we are in deep trouble. I grew up to meet policemen taking bribe, but I never saw policewomen do it, even though they were few policewomen then, but now some of these woman are even more brazen than men. When I see those of them with wedding rings, I mutter to myself, “So, this one too na somebody mama?” What kind of morals are they going to impart in their children?

As you celebrate Mother’s Day, the other scourge of concern threatening today’s families and marriages is divorce. Divorce happens for diverse reasons, but mothers, especially Christian mothers, need to think deeply because divorce is like sh*t put in a fan: when the fan blades start rotating, everybody around gets a piece of it. I have said it before; I cannot encourage any woman whose life is endangered to stay back in a marriage. Physical and mental abuses are also hard to swallow. Also if your husband really wants out, there is very little you can do.

But many of the divorces result from impatience, intolerance, immaturity and other flimsy excuses. If your mothers had abandoned their marriages the way some of you are doing now, would you have had the privilege of growing up in a stable family setup? Why don’t you hang around, work things out with your spouse, so that your own children can have the privilege of growing up in a stable home. I accept it takes both spouses to make a marriage work, but have you fulfilled your own part of the bargain? The strategic position wives occupy in the family can never be overemphasized. Women really need to think deeply before they take any decision that can jeopardize this foundation.

Families need regeneration and women champion it very well. Presidents and leaders of women organizations, both religious and secular, should take the lead. You are like the biblical salt of the earth and light of the world; let your light shine and show your followers the way. Let your light be on the lamp stand to provide better illumination. Let your salt add taste to family life and make it more meaningful. Both light and salt are change agents. Bring positive changes to family life. Salt is also a preservative. Come and help preserve our illustrious and much cherished family, cultural and religious values.

Our mothers of old worked hard to support their husbands, but also maintained a firm grip of the home front, including proper upbringing of children. Today’s women work to support their spouses, but many have ceded the home front to nannies and other caregivers. They need to strike a balance. Both responsibilities are important, but the future (of our children) cannot be sacrificed for the present (family upkeep).

Let us also get our priorities right; away with aimless feminism that has no bearing on our cultural and religious values. Gender equity or equality is not about destroying what is right with us; it is about straightening our crooked paths and smoothening the rough edges. I wish our dearly beloved mothers a fruitful Mother’s Day celebration.