By Morenike Taire

EVERY so often, we are bombarded with statistics upon statistics of women underperforming in virtually every field of endeavour. This dismal state of affairs cannot be too far removed from our abysmal ability to network.

Networking is the social soul of business, and joining the ‘Boys Club’ is crucial to having your foot firmly on the corporate or political ladders. Don’t bother with the business card; networking success comes from building real relationships. Thankfully, it can be learned…

Find the Food! Whether or not you’re eating, it’s always a great idea to position yourself at  the edge of the buffet. From this vantage position, you can easily strike up a conversation as people turn with food in hand.

Be yourself: Don’t try to be the person you think others want to meet. Be genuine.  Treat people like friends. The people you connect with when you are authentic are the ones you’ll want to stay in touch with. Treat new networking relationships as you’d treat your friendships. Build rapport and trust that business will happen. Ask questions.

The only way to get to know someone else is to ask them genuine and thoughtful questions. It’s always best to walk away from a conversation having allowed the other person to speak more than you did. Not only will they feel great about the conversation, but you’ll have gotten to know a lot about him/her

Set goals before going: When attending an event, understand what you are there to do. Is your goal to feel out a new organization? Is it to meet five new people? Is it to meet one or two specific people? Plan ahead. Take notes.  When you ask for someone’s card after having a great conversation, take notes on their business card after they walk away or immediately after the event.

This will help you to be more specific in your follow-up. A great way to get to know more about an organization and who is involved is to seek out the event organizer and introduce yourself. He/she can then help point you in the right direction and can introduce you to other attendees to get you off on the right foot.

Become a brand: Consider why the person you’re speaking to should care about  what you’re saying. Craft your conversations accordingly. You only have a short time to make an impression, so try to make it favorable. Give without expecting anything in return. Turn yourself into a staple at networking events. Avoid too many events where no one knows you, you’re doing yourself a disservice by having to build your brand from scratch in each environment. You’ll also find that networking is a lot more fun when you become a regular. People will sing your praises to new attendees (this is always better than you doing it yourself) and you’ll see lots of familiar faces.

Mind your Body Language

Don’t be a card spammer.  The closest thing to you throwing all of your business cards away is handing them out to anyone and everyone you meet without them asking. If you haven’t built enough rapport with someone to encourage them to ask for your card, don’t offer one. Keep eye contact with your conversation partner. Nod your head and tilt your body towards them when you’re speaking. These small cues go a long way towards making them feel like you care, which helps you to build rapport and trust: the foundation on which you can later do business.

Don’t  try to meet as many people as possible in a room; focus on making just a few solid connections. People can sense when you’re simply speaking with them to grab their card and go. These short interactions will not be memorable and therefore work against you. Aim to meet a few people and begin a meaningful dialogue.
The more specific you can be about what you do and what others can do to help you (if they ask), the better. Tell them the names of a few specific companies you’re looking to work with. And remember; do talk to strangers!