By Funmi Komolafe

This column this week is a slight deviation from our usual   focus on couples waiting on the Lord for children.

The focus is on troubled homes.   What do I mean by troubled homes? I mean homes where couples are living like strangers; where couples are not on speaking terms, where the marriage is   under a   serious threat or homes where children who should have become a source of joy have become a source of sadness.

Let’s go practical and take the case of   a young couple   residing outside Lagos as an example.

Emma and Vero ( not real names ) got married and have been waiting on the Lord for about five years.     On a particular occasion,   Vero made an overseas trip and, before she returned, her husband had packed his belongings out of their   matrimonial   home.

She returned to find out he had left home.

We’ll return to the details later.

There was another case of a couple that had been married for about 30 years , they too had been having issues   over the man’s late home coming. In their own case, they had teenage children.     It got so bad that madam locked out her husband on several occasions and he had to sleep in the car outside.   The man built the house in which they both resided.

Unknown to the wife, the man had started taking his clothes out of the home.     One day, he finally left home.

A third experience is that of a woman who has   practically lost her husband to other women .   She is disturbed   .   The   once   joyful home had become     a sorrowful home.

The issues

In the   case of Emma, he told his friends that   his leaving home had nothing to do with   their waiting on the Lord for children. Rather, he said, the woman had become too hot for him.   In other words, she was not longer   the lover he married.

In the second case, the woman claimed to have become   a   serious Christian and could, therefore, not tolerate a man who returned   home late.

On the other hand, the man   said he chose to return home late because the traffic to their home in Ikotun, Lagos   was   jammed with traffic   and he had to   stay late to enable him have a free ride home.

Now, Joyful Homes was not there to pass judgment on anybody but to suggest that whatever we are   going through that has made   a   once joyful home   to be tensed,   is temporary.   As Pastor Oso  of the Laughter Foundation Cathedral, Lagos often says, “ Every challenge has an expiry date”.

Beyond that, the solution is available.

In some homes, it is not any of these issues we have mentioned, it could be financial   limitation.

In   others , it can be health challenges.

Communication

Communication is essential .   Without it,no problem can be solved. It can be initiated by either   of the spouses and this   should be done when one is not angry or   having any form of emotional stress .

No partner in such a   discussion must   insist on   having his or her way on all issues.

True, some men can be difficult; where this is the case, there is no need to engage in  shouting match or arguments .

The best communication is with God Almighty, the Creator of Heaven and Earth .

The God of possibility

Whatever it is that one is going through, we need to turn to God for mercy and compassion     , which   can turn things around in our favor.

To access his mercy, however, we must ask for it.

Bear in mind, Romans 9 vs 15: “ I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion”.

We need not cry unto man but to cry to the God of man.

For those who have been wronged by other people especially people you trusted so much, Pastor J.T. Kalejaye of the Redeemed Christian   Church of God often describes such people   as “ unfriendly friends”.

There are ways of dealing with such issues.

The one who has been wronged   must do away with bitterness.

Romans 12 vs 19 suggests to us: “ Dearly beloved , avenge not yourselves, but rather give place   unto wrath: for it is written, vengeance is mine ; I will repay , saith the Lord”.

It adds in verses 20 and 21: “ Therefore, if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing,   thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.   Be not overcome of evil but overcome evil with good”.

Did I hear you say, ‘this is easier said than done’?   I rather say it can be done easily once you have completely yielded yourself to   Christ.

Remember, God can   change any situation.

It is advisable that we spend more time praying and studying the Word of God than engaging in war of words that may even be hazardous to health.

God   is able to give children, He is able to restore broken homes.   He is able to heal.

Are you troubled by the health situation of your spouse,   child or other family members?   Demonstrate your faith in God by praying.

We have assurance in the Word of God, according to Jeremiah 30 vs 17: “   For I will restore health unto thee and I will heal thee of thy wounds, saith the Lord…”.

A further assurance is given in Exodus 15 vs. 26 “ ….. For I am the Lord that health thee”.

God’s ability to heal sickness, broken hearts etc is not in doubt.   He never fails.

He is able to change every point of sorrow to joy only if we trust in Him.

Our trust in Him must be total. It is total trust in Him that turns situations around.

In the words of Pastor J.T. Kalejaye, “ Those who carry God’s grace can never suffer disgrace”.

Feedback

I end this colunm ths week  with a prayer request from Mr. Benjamin, one of our readers.

He has requested that we join him to pray for healing .   Let’s spare a moment to ask God to heal   this brother, believing that, by the grace of God, he will testify to healing in Jesus name.