Dear Bunmi,

My fiance and I got engaged last year and we plan to get married in a few months’ time. A few days ago, a ‘friend’ let it slip that a woman in their street just had a baby for him. I couldn’t believe it but when I confronted him, he didn’t deny it. He said it was a one-night stand and she refused to have an abortion. To make matters worse, I have fertility problems for which I’m being treated by my doctor. I’m terribly broken-hearted. I can’t stop him from being part of his baby’s life but I can’t stand the thought of him being near this scheming woman. He swears it’s me he loves, but if that were the case, he wouldn’t have slept with her in the first place.


Mofolani, by e-mail.

Dear Mofolani,

The love for your fiancee is being tested here and friends could call you a saint if you decide to stand by your man. But if your love is stronger than this mistake he’s made, for which he’s obviously sorry, then you can get over this betrayal of his. Naturally, you would have wanted to be the first person to give him a child – not some woman he barely knew. You need time to think things through before you finally decide to trust him enough to still go ahead with the wedding because when you eventually get married, this child too becomes part of your family. I can’t tell you what is the right thing for you to do. Only you know that. All I can say is, if you love one another, you have a chance.


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