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Alternatives to Avoid

By Funmi Komolafe

This week, we are addressing some of the options available to couples waiting on the Lord for children with special focus on those options Christians must shun as we refer to men and women of God who have spoken on this topic.

As recorded in the Holy Bible, Abraham and Sarah waited on the Lord until they lost hope. Physically, they had become so old that they knew that it was impossible to have children. Then Sarah made a suggestion as recorded in Genesis 16 vs 2,” And Sarai said unto Abram ( note the names they bore at this time), ‘ Behold now, the Lord hath restrained me from bearing: I pray thee , go in unto my maid (Hagai); it may be that I may obtain children by her’. And Abram harkened unto the voice of Sarai”.

This was the beginning of problems in that home. Though  we would say in this modern age, it is unlikely that any woman would offer her husband  Sarai’s  suggestion.

That piece of advice was the beginning of problems for Sarai herself.

It was the beginning of an emotional and physical distance between the couple.

If that is considered a bad advice, the other part of the piece of advice was worse. Justifying her suggestion, she said, “That I may obtain children by her”. Of course, this isn’t physically possible. Hagai’s children  belonged to her and Abram and were not in any way Sarai’s.

Why are we making reference to this? We are doing so, so that men who are under any form of pressure from inquisitive relations would refuse to be drawn into a generational conflict that may start from the home as a result of ungodly advice.

Perhaps by the time Sarai gave this advice, she had lost faith in the promise of God recorded in Genesis 1 (28): “ And God blessed them and God said unto them, ‘ Be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the earth and subdue it ; and have dominion over the fish of the sea , and over the fowl of the air, and over every thing that moveth upon the earth’”.

The road to a  joyful home – Faith, in my view, is the most crucial. Whatever we may be trusting God  for, our faith is crucial, but it must go with prayer, fasting and worship of the Lord.

God has also used human beings to introduce IVF as a method of procreating.

Adoption, if done legally, is another way of making a joyful home.

Pastor J.T. Kalejaiye, in a sermon titled, “ God of Possibility”, delivered  at Harken Unto Me O Lord ( HUMOL), Magodo, spoke extensively on the God of possibility.

He said: “ Probability and impossibility” are words that do not exist in the dictionary of the Almighty God.

Do you agree? If you don’t, take a look at Luke 1 (37): “ For, with God, nothing shall be impossible”. If we believe and hold on to these words, then we are sure of a miracle.


Options to avoid – Nowadays, it is not uncommon to see couples experiencing delays in having children. This is not traceable to physical issues alone but also to spiritual attacks usually from fellow human beings.

Consequently, some people, out of desperation, have resorted to ungodly options.

Such options include buying of babies from so-called baby factories. This is not only illegal, it is ungodly.

Pastor (Mrs.) Folu Adeboye, while addressing women in one of the programmes of the Redeemed Christian Church of God ( RCCG), warned that it is not right to purchase babies and then go on the altar of God to give testimony.

It is equally not acceptable to collude with medical personnel to steal another person’s baby and claim it as yours.

Another option, which men tend to take, is to yield to pressure from relations and go on to have children from women they are not married to.

Initially, this may give the man some relief, but what about the burden of betrayal and the consequence of it?  How sure is the man that the child is his? Some women are known to have trapped men with pregnancies that, in most cases, the men are not responsible for.


As usual, I will share an experience of a Christian couple that were married without children for some time.

Both were very active in the Church but, unknown to  the wife, the man went into a relationship with a lady who also claimed to be a  worker in another Church. Are you surprised? Wait until you read the full story.

Anyway, they (the man and the other lady) had three children. One day, the news was broken to madam who insisted on meeting the lady and the three children. They met but the lady was, to say the least, unfriendly.

This meeting was the beginning of emotional distance between the wife and the husband. He stopped eating at home and having anything to do with the wife.

Things got so bad that the man threatened to sell their residence in a Government Reservation Area in Lagos.

Madam went to court but later withdrew the case.

With the gap getting wider by the day, the couple were hardly on speaking terms. The man also stopped sleeping at home.

Unknown to the wife, her husband had been diagnosed with cancer.

The man’s relations and the other woman united against madam. They began to move him from one hospital to the other; eventually, he died.

Of course by the time he died, he had sold the house.

For fear of losing the money to his wife, he kept  it  in the bank accounts of the relations. The other woman also had no access to the money.

The beneficiaries were the relations.


We are not in a position to pass judgment but, in all our actions, we should remember that God is the only impartial judge.

There are several women coping with brazen betrayal of marriage vows.

Are you going through this? Keep your faith high. Hold on to God and refuse to be distracted. Your miracle is on the way.

The situation will soon change – Pastor Kalejaiye, in the sermon I mentioned earlier, made reference to the awesome power of God.

His words, “ Those who are intimate with God cannot be intimidated by man”.

We should always bear in mind that it is only God that gives children. Psalm 127 vs 3 states:” Lo, children are a heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of womb is his reward”.

Pastor Kalejaiye added:” Those who carry God’s grace can never be disgraced”.


Don’t give up, remember that only God can change situations.

Make sure that, as a woman, you don’t take steps that could create a distance between you and your husband.

Always do things to make him happy. Don’t ever assume it is only you that is bothered by the delay. Men are disturbed too.

Whereas, women are quick to express feelings, men have the capacity to absorb.

Unspeakable joy on the way– As you hold on to God and take the right physical steps, God will surely turn the situation around.

I end this edition with this prayer point by Pastor Samson Ajetunmobi:

“ Father, give me the speed to redeem all my years of delay.

“Give me supernatural speed to wipe out all my years of delay”.

When God wipes out delays, the one who was known without children will be called mother of twins.

So shall it be in Jesus name. Remember, God never fails.



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