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Much ado about sex toys

By Yetunde Arebi

Sex
Sex

Just as the level of available information about sex and sexuality is on the increase daily, same is true of people’s need to seek, explore and enjoy themselves sexually. A lot of couples have now realised that achieving sexual fulfilment may no longer be in the wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am style, or simply put, duty sex.

Sex is an art and therefore subject to varied interpretation, creativity and study. A person’s sexual fantasy and what gives them pleasure and satisfaction are quite unlikely to remain the same throughout their entire lifetime. Thus, some couples may hit it hot at the beginning only to lose steam midway.

The lucky ones stick it out and endure in silence, pretending that good sex is not a priority in their relationship, while some others may turn to other channels for their satisfaction. The truly honest and dedicated couples talk their ways into finding solution. That is why communication remains the key to relationship success as very few people are born with the ability to read minds.

Experts believe this is where sex toys come in. Sex toys are designed to offer both men and women additional sexual pleasure and can be used alone or with a partner, just as you can masturbate on your own or with a partner.

What many people fail to admit is that foreplay is a form of masturbation as it is designed to help stimulate and arouse the sex organs in preparation for the main course. There is no doubt that outlets for sale of sex toys have been on the increase in recent times.

However, there are many myths in the minds of people about sex toys, especially in our part of the world. Most of these myths are due to stereotyping, limited information and enlightenment as well as beliefs and orientation. For the purpose of education, here are a few facts about sex toys we all should know. Do have a wonderful weekend!

Myth: If a woman has a sex toy, she won’t need a man.

Fact: Although many sex toys like vibrators may resemble a real penis in shape, these can’t replace a real penis. With a real penis, you can feel greater joy and pleasure.

However, there’s no harm in masturbation, as it can improve how you function sexually. Sex toys are also used by many couples during sex to enhance sexual pleasure. Plus, sex toys are not human; they can only do what they were designed for. Nothing can replace the warmth of a human body lying next to you, nor the strength or a virile male arm around your body.

Myth: Sex is less natural.

Fact: Everyone believes that they desire natural sex. But the truth is that what everyone desires is pleasurable fulfilling sex. What sex toys do is enable both male and female enjoy more intense and pleasurable sex. There are various designs and types to meet one’s needs and preferences.

Plus, they can be used at any time during the act, such as during foreplay, mid sex and afterplay, especially where one of the partners (the woman) has yet to reach her peak and the man is done. Sex toys can help you live out your fantasy, just as they can also help you to discover yourself sexually to improve your sex life.

Take for instance the condom which is usually used as a safe-sex tool. The condom may also be used in the treatment of erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation as it helps to sustain erection and prolong the sexual act.

Myth: Vibrators ruin women for sex with men.

Truth: Does driving ruin you for walking? No. It just gets you to your destination much faster.

Sensitive body parts respond to erotic stimulation no matter what the source. Vibrators bring women to orgasm faster than other types of erotic stimulation, but they don’t change a woman’s ability to respond to anything and everything else. So, far from ruining women for sex if performed without a vibrator, it can actually help women respond to other types of stimulation.

Myth: Sex toys are only for people who have a bad sex life, or no sex life.

Truth: The use of sex toys has become common for men and women. Many couples use sex toys during sexual intercourse. It’s not only people who have a bad sex life that use toys for improving their sexual function. Couples who enjoy successful relationships can use sex toys to improve their sexual functions.

Myth: Sex toys are addictive.

Truth: Sex toys aren’t harmful. It may happen that women who use sex toys regularly may get used to them and won’t feel adequate arousal with a real penis. It may cause embarrassment to the partner. However, with optimum use of sex toys, you may not only improve your sexual function but quality of sex life as well.

Myth: Sex toys are for perverts.

Truth: If a pervert acts out his fantasy on a sex toy, should that be a problem to anyone? I would rather a pervert helps himself or herself out without hurting anyone. In fact, a man who fantasises about raping can save humanity the agony by buying himself a lifesize doll he can thrash around as he pleases, rather than attack some innocent women or young girls.

Being kinky behind closed doors is also quite normal if you are with a partner or rather a consenting adult. Everyone is entitled to enjoy sex using whatever means or aid that is acceptable to them. Besides, what you do in your bedroom is nobody’s business.

Myth: If a woman needs a vibrator to have an orgasm, there’s something wrong with her or her man.

Truth:

This is absolutely not true. What is true is that a sex toy, a vibrator for instance, can make it easier for a woman to become more intensely aroused and reach orgasm quicker. Women who have difficulty reaching orgasm only need to be sexually stimulated more intensely or for a longer period and this, a vibrator can help with.

Not every man enjoys going down there with their mouths just as it is not every woman that loves to be given the tongue. So, what fingers and mouth can’t do, the vibrator can. A man should learn to have sex the way his woman desires him to, since he can easily reach his peak.


Disclaimer

Comments expressed here do not reflect the opinions of vanguard newspapers or any employee thereof.