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He wants me to talk dirty

Dear Bunmi,

My husband of six years is suddenly trying to show a side he never let me see even in our courting days. He wants me to talk dirty to him whenever we’re making love.

This kind of talk is so out of character for me, and it would make me upset and uncomfortable. What should I do?
Mandi, by e-mail.

Dear Mandi,
You might find talking dirty in the bedroom to be a shocking or abnormal beha-viour but many couples see it as big turn-on. It doesn’t mean you’re a wayward person.

I would never tell you to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable. I don’t think it would cause any harm if you try it out. Why don’t you start by creating a character role to play?

Pretend you’re trying to seduce and charm your husband, or simply describe to him how what he’s doing feels to you. You can just whisper all this into his ear.

You may not think talking dirty is your style, you won’t know for sure until you try. It could enhance your sex life once you get used to it.
However, if you try it and don’t feel comfortable, tell your husband you want to stop.

He should understand, and you two can continue to experiment until you find something erotic that turns you both on equally. He is after all your better half, and who best to let go with?


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