By Francis Ewherido

Time can never diminish those wonderful early memories. That moment you came into the world, announced your arrival with a cry and upgraded my status to a father. Going to work became a massive drag; coming home was magnetic. A 30-minute journey home looked like eternity; I felt like taking a helicopter to beat Lagos traffic.

By three months, I was going all over the place with you on weekends. Your favourite bed was my body. The bond was strong, dating back to your prenatal days. You were restless and your movements in the womb excited us (mummy and I). We could feel your elbow and feet especially. You brought indescribable joy and excitement into our lives; you still do.

My girl child, this is a wonderful time to be born. Unlike your forebears nobody is denying you access to good education because of your gender. How far you are going to go academically is entirely up to you. But you are just one of the many girls these days with easy access to education. There are still millions of girls like you who are not in school; held back by poverty, ignorance or both, and systemic deprivation. The challenges notwithstanding, more girls are getting into school, even though about three-quarters of children out of school in Nigeria are girls.

Nobody is also going to force you into marriage, especially under-aged marriage. You know I believe in early marriage, but you must come of age and be physically and mentally ready, you will also decide who and when to marry. But the situation for some other girls is different. Both of us watched the documentary of Asian girls in their early teens being forced into marriage, some of them to men old enough to be their grand fathers and great grand fathers. Unfortunately, it is also on our shores.

People are hiding under tradition and religion to engage in paedophilia. Some of these young girls suffer Vesicovaginal Fistula (VVF) during childbirth as a result of their underdeveloped pelvis and sex organs. Painfully, their husbands, most times, abandon them thereafter because of the offensive odour they emit. Tragic, but that is the way it is for now, but over time the situation will change with more enlightenment, advocacy and legislation, I hope. We shall get there.

So much gain has been made by the girl child over time, but the road ahead is still very long. Nigeria is basically a man’s world, baby girl, so your journey is likely going to be more tortuous than your brothers’. You will need to work harder; you cannot take anything for granted. The good news is nobody can hold you down. The opportunities are there for all who seek them, though with differing ease, and they are to some extent gender-blind. Clarity of purpose is really what you need to chart your path.

In charting your path, please let God be your companion because one with God is majority. It is convenient to take the easy route; after all you are a girl. Nudity and sex captivate, they sell faster than hot cake and they have become quick routes to stardom, fame and fortune. But life is not a do-or-die affair and achievements must not come at all cost.

That was why I begged you to perish the thought about following up that discussion you had with that person in London. Why go for bronze when you can work a little harder and get the more enduring gold? Nudity and notoriety might have brought many girls fame, fortune and “success”, but I prefer the Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, Aloma Mariam Mukhtar, Oprah Winfrey and Maya Angelou type of fame, fortune and success.

Baby girl, I know I am conservative and life will be boring with only people like me, but even the insane have limits. That is why they look before crossing roads; they do not jump into the rivers, canals and lagoons that dot Lagos. I was watching a girl on television with piercings all over her body. She then disclosed that even her genitals have piercings.

Haba! we are fighting female genital mutilation, on the one hand, and the Western world, the chief protagonists, are bringing it back via genital piercings in the name of freedom and fashion, and some of us are aping them. Yes, genital piercing is not the same thing as female circumcision. Yes, also, an English man is not the same as a Scot, but aren’t both of them British? By the way, baby girl, what purpose does genital piercing serve? I thought life should be purpose-driven. Notoriety?

Oh, I see, but you do not need it. Be moderate and balanced in all aspects of your life, but if you must go crazy once in a while, just remember that craze sef get limit. The odds are already stacked against baby girls; do not import avoidable and unnecessary challenges.

Naked photos of some celebrities have been online, allegedly leaked by hackers. What are their nude photographs doing on their phones or lap tops? Are they selfies or somebody else took the photos? About 28 years ago, I came across a quote by Benjamin Franklin: “Three (people) can keep a secret, if two of them are dead”, which means, the best kept secrets are those known to only one person. Imbibe this quote, baby girl, and you will stay out of trouble a lot of the time.

There is still much more to say, baby girl, but this will do for now. Just spend the rest of the day reflecting on the essence of life. I love you, my baby girl.

NB: “On December 19, 2011, United Nations General Assembly adopted Resolution 66/170 to declare October 11 as the International Day of the Girl Child, to recognize girls’ rights and the unique challenges girls face around the world.”